Citizen Collects Lottery Winnings Wearing A ‘Scream’ Mask So His Friends & Family Don’t Ask Him For Money

A citizen based in the U.S. has been photographed picking up his lottery winnings while wearing a scream mask. Our Morale Agents, based in the U.S., told us that this was because the lucky winner did not want his family or friends to start asking him for money. The bizarre photoshoot, however, did not hide the surname and initial of

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Local Councils REJOICE As Melting Roads Repair Potholes

Local council leaders have been rejoicing as the unprecedented hot weather – that occurs every summer – has meant that the billions of potholes dotted around the country have started to disappear finally. Owing to the scorching temperatures, the roads have been melting, and thus potholes which have been around since the ice age have started to disappear. Our undercover

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Police Officer Endures Morale Failure After Being Forced To Deflate A ‘Donut Floaty’

Our American Morale Embassay has made us aware of an incident that occurred, which has resulted in a police officer suffering from a morale failure after being forced to deflate a ‘donut floaty’. In a post shared on the Waukesha County Sheriff’s Department Facebook page, a spokesperson said: ‘Deputy McDonald consoles Deputy Kristalidis after he had to deflate a donut

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Do Not Be Surprised If You See Men Walking Like This In The Hot Weather

The Ministry of Morale has been getting a lot of reports from concerned citizens about men they have spotted who appear to be ‘walking funny’ in the heat. We want to assure citizens that if you do spot a male comrade walking down the street with a funny step, then it is probably just because the male’s balls are overheating.

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What To Know What You Will Look Like If You Smoke Meth? Use The Face App ‘Age’ Feature

The Ministry of Morale has noticed how popular the ‘face app’ (ageing feature) has become as millions of citizens indulge themselves in a bit of time travelling into the future. The freaky pictures have been filing the social media timelines of the bewildered family and friends of the individuals who have been using the feature. However, what many citizens have

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WATCH: Drones Armed With Fireworks Being Used To Break Up Morale Gatherings (Street Parties)

Undercover Morale Agents, based in our Brazil office, have made us aware of a new tactic being employed by some citizens to break up gatherings of people who are engaging in various urban morale activities. In the video below, a Brazilian citizen decided that he had enough of an impromptu street party that had kicked off near to his home

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‘We’ll Make It Rain For 365 Days To Reduce Crime’ Says Chief Morale Officer

The Ministry of Morale is announcing plans to interfere with the climate to make it rain for the next 365 days. it is hoped that, by doing this, then crimes rates around the country will start to decrease as wrong-uns tend not to go out when it’s wet. Since Mrs May cut police numbers, we have seen an increase in

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Victims Of ‘MEME Theft’ To Be Offered Emotional Support

Even though, in reality, a MEME cannot be ‘stolen’ as it is merely copied and shared on the same social media platform where it was found. However, some professional MEME sharers have been in contact with the Ministry of Morale via our morale hotline, to seek emotional support having seen someone else sharing ‘their’ MEME. Often, this support is sought

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New ‘Clown’ Ambulance To Be Sent To People Who Call 999 For Papercuts

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce the introduction of a new emergency ambulance service that will be reserved, especially for people who call 999 for papercuts and other silly reasons. For example, if you call 999 and demand an ambulance because you have dropped your mobile phone on your foot, then the clown ambulance will attend. The clown

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