Male Who Hid Firework Up His A*se Cries In Custody After Falling On A Lighter

A male who hid a firework up his a*se before getting lifted by the Cops has ended up in tears after falling on a lighter while being held in custody.  The male was picked up by the police after acting like a buffoon and causing a nuisance in his local neighbourhood.  Officers were called to the scene and quickly identified

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Stressed At Work? Try Our New ‘Stress Balls’ To Help Alleviate Stress Levels

As citizens know, here at the Ministry of Morale, we are always trying to think of new ways to keep our loyal citizens happy.  Work is often the cause of most citizens stress, primarily if you work in a company or organisation where the management does not know their heads from their a**eholes.  But taking the stress out on your

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New ‘Fake Cop’ Service Launched To Save People From Their Nagging Partners

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that it will be launching a brand new ‘fake cop’ service to help citizens who are suffering at the hands of their nagging partner(s).  For example, pretend police from the Ministry of Morale can ‘arrest’ you in front of your wife on a Friday lunchtime and ‘release’ you back again on a

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Always Answer Your Phone By Saying ‘My Battery Is Almost Dead’ To Avoid Unwanted Conversations

The Ministry of Morale has detected a severe and sharp increase in the number of calls being made to our morale hotline by citizens who have experienced morale failures after being forced to speak to someone on the phone who they do not like.  This situation can occur when, for example, your boss calls you on a withheld number or

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Ungrateful Patient Invoices Medics After They Smashed His Back Doors In

An ungrateful citizen has sent an invoice to two paramedics after they were forced to kick his back doors in after he fell ill while at home.  Concerned neighbours had called the emergency services after they hadn’t heard anything from their neighbour for several weeks.  One of the neighbours of the patient, who did not want to be named, told

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‘I’VE MET THE TSG’ Tag Starts To Appear On Vehicles Belonging To Wrong’uns

The Ministry of Morale is investigating after graffiti tags of: ‘I’ve Met The TSG’ have started to appear on cars belonging to wrong’uns.  A wrong’un is anyone who decides to embark upon a career of criminality, and the TSG is one of the Met Polices’ elite units who are tasked with disposing of wrong’uns.  Because branding humans is frowned upon,

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Motorcyclist Who Identifies As A Cyclist Wins All Fifteen Races

A motorcyclist who identifies as a cyclist has won a series of races after finishing 5 hours ahead of other competitors.  Back in 2018, Bernie Mann decided that he wanted to be known as a cyclist rather than a motorcyclist before registering to take part in a variety of international races.  When the final decision was put before the Ministry

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Garda Officer Helps To Remove Graffiti With Urine

The Ministry of Morale would like to clarify the actions of a Garda Officer after he was snapped by a professional bystander trying to remove unsightly graffiti using urine.  When the image was first circulated, citizens incorrectly assumed that the officer was having a pee up against the wall for no apparent reason.  This is not correct.  The officer was

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HavingSex At Night Decreases Likelihood Of Getting Pregnant As The Sperm Are Asleep

HavingSex At Night Decreases Likelihood Of Getting Pregnant As The Sperm Are Asleep  The Ministry of Morale can confirm that if you get up to any bedroom antics at night, then you are less likely to get your partner pregnant as your sperms will be asleep.  For this highly scientific study, the Ministry of Morale “asked” three of its male

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‘Man Up’ Pills To Be Offered Free Of Charge To ALL Snowflakes

The Ministry of Morale is becoming increasingly concerned about the number of morale failures which are being experienced by snowflakes.  For example, over the last 24 hours, we have received millions of calls on our morale hotline by citizens who have experienced a morale failure after a fellow citizen called them a nasty name (such as ‘idiot’ or ‘buffoon’).  A

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