New Poll Suggests INFANTRYMEN Most Likely To Make You Climax

Here at the Ministry of Morale, we keep a close eye on what makes our citizens smile because it means that our mission of upkeeping and upholding morale is going well and according to plan.

We recently conducted a poll of women (and men) who had slept with a infantryman in the previous 2 hours.

For this poll, our morale agents waited around dodgy bars and nightclubs in order to track infantrymen who, during a night out, had managed to ‘trap’ a member of the opposite sex.

Our morale agents then followed the couple back to where ever it was they were going to sleep with each other, which included public parks, abandoned vehicles, skips, the wardroom and alleyways.

Once the infantryman had ‘finished’ (typically, after about 3 minutes) our morale agents then approached the lucky person and asked them following question:

‘Did the infantryman make you climax?’.

Out of the 23,456 girls we spoke to, 23,450 said ‘yes’.

3 asked what climaxing was, whilst the other 3 asked if we knew where the nearest naval base was (so we can only assume that the answer for them was ‘no’).

Of concern, was the fact that a high proportion of the women we spoke to, asked them how long they would now have to wait for access to married quarters (9-months was the response)

Talking about the findings of our survey, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“Owing to the vast amount of time that sailors spend at sea, it has often been thought that sailors are most likely to make their partners climax during sexual intercourse than infantrymen. 

“Air force personnel have been excluded from this survey owing to the fact that their partners often get to experience intimate moments in 5-Star hotels so will naturally find it far easier to climax whereas ‘real world’ locations, such as alleyways and abandoned vehicles require far more effort”. 

“Based on our findings, we are going to suggest to anyone going out this weekend who is looking for an intimate liaison with a member of the armed forces, to make sure that you bag yourself an infantryman”. 


The Ministry of Morale is committed to try and increase the morale of all citizens both inside and outside of the public sector, from all over the world. 

If you have experienced a sudden and unexpected drop in morale, for whatever reason, and you would like to make us aware of what has happened, then you are encouraged to make a short video of the ‘morale failure’ and send it into us via our facebook page (see below). 

The video might then be shared with the general public in order to bring awareness to the issue that has led to the morale failure. 

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