New Work Toilets Will Mean Your Boss Can Keep An Eye On You Even When You Are On The Loo

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that on a date that is yet to be determined, all workplaces will be fitted with these brand new ‘half-loos’. 

The toilets will mean that your boss will be able to keep an eye on you while you are using the loo; thus enabling them to ensure that you are not wasting valuable work time by looking at MEMEs instead of just passing fluids/solids/stuff.

Even though the toilets will not afford staff much privacy, they will ensure that your boss gets his/her full salary out of you. 

Before the introduction of these toilets, staff would spend up to three hours on the toilet during work time, checking their social media feeds and checking out funny MEMEs on the interweb. 

Apart from the obvious hazard this entails by not being able to get up from the toilet once you have finished, it also means that your boss endures multiple morale failures because he/she probably knows what you are doing on the toilet, but cannot prove it. 

Some employers would no-doubt like to install CCTV cameras in work toilets (if they haven’t already, but this is illegal because the footage would probably end up on some dodgy site on the internet. 

Talking about the toilets, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“We know that employees up-and-down the country will not welcome these toilets, but nothing is more critical than productivity. 

“If you suffer from particularly smelly stools, then we would recommend taking a roll of cling film into the toilet with you to prevent your aroma from assaulting the nostrils of your colleagues. 

“We are aware that these toilets will take some getting used to, but the morale of your egotistical boss must also take priority and nothing displeasures them more than having to pay their staff to poop”. 

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