New ‘WeeWoo’ Ambotanks To Be Used In Areas Where Ambulance Crews Have Been Attacked

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that brand new heavily armoured ‘WeeWoo’ ambotanks will soon start to appear in areas of the country where ambulance crews have been attacked or abused. 

Following a recent study, our morale scientists concluded that anyone who attacks or assaults a member of the ambulance service (or their vehicle) is officially a ****. 

We also found that 100% of the ****’s who have previously been convicted of assaulting a member of the emergency services suffer from a condition known as ****tilitous. 

Due to profanity rules, we will let you decide which four-letter word we are using to describe this particular category of rancid citizen. 

The WeeWoo Ambotank will protect ambulance crews

To protect the amazing men and women of the ambulance service, these new ‘WeeWoo’ Ambotanks will ensure that should any citizen decide to assault or abuse a member of the ambulance service; then the ambulance crew will be able to flatten their house without any hesitation. 

The new vehicles will also mean that emergency ambulance crews will be able to drive over any cars which refuse to give way to them and they also mean that anyone who leaves a nasty note on an ambulance regarding their parking, will have their house flattened. 

Talking about the announcement, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“We are sick of hearing about the cruel treatment of ambulance staff, so we have decided to act.

“Crews will no longer have to worry about entering areas where their personal safety or their vehicles might be at risk because anyone who resembles a threat will be flattened like a pancake. 

“Our message is clear; if you act like a c**kwomble towards a member of the emergency services, then you can expect to meet the ‘WeeWoo’ Ambotank. 

“It also has a built-in c**kwomble radar meaning that it will be able to detect a c**kwomble before they appear. 

“The ambulance crew can then leave the scene and go to a patient who actually appreciates the fantastic work which they do. 

“If you do not want to be flattened by the ‘WeeWoo’ Ambotank, then don’t act like a d**k”. 

Are you any good at writing satirical articles or do you fancy giving it a go? 

If ‘yes’ and you fancy trying your hand at writing a satirical piece, then send us your best attempt for a chance to get it published on our website and social media pages.

Your article can be about anything you like (apart from politics) and should ideally be between 300-500 words long. 

If your article gets over 250,000 views in four weeks, then we will pay you £100 – what a fantastic morale boost! 

Please send your submissions in to us via our Facebook page! Satire is also an excellent way of getting things off of your chest #JustSaying

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