Man Addicted To Brake Fluid Said He ‘Can Stop Whenever He Wants’

A man who has fought a 12-year addiction to brake fluid has said that he can ‘stop anytime he wants’ after local supplies of the liquid ran out. 

The addiction started when the male mistook a can of brake fluid for a can of coke. 

After ingesting the highly noxious and highly corrosive fluid, the male noticed that – because of an asbestos lined digestive system – he was able to stop his mouth from immediately sharing his thoughts. 

Talking to the Ministry of Morale, the male said:

“I have always been one of those dudes who cannot help but speak my mind. 

“It has often meant that I have got into trouble after telling people what I really think of them. 

“But since becoming addicted to brake fluid, I have found that I can stop my mouth from engaging. 

“It has saved me loads of trips to A&E as I no longer get into fights. 

“I would strongly recommend though, that you DO NOT drink brake fluid because it will probably lead to your death. 

“I am lucky because I can stop drinking brake fluid anytime I want”. 


Are you any good at writing satirical articles or do you fancy giving it a go? 

If ‘yes’ and you fancy trying your hand at writing a satirical piece, then send us your best attempt for a chance to get it published on our website and social media pages.

Your article can be about anything you like (apart from politics) and should ideally be between 300-500 words long. 

If your article gets over 250,000 views in four weeks, then we will pay you £100 – what a fantastic morale boost! 

Please send your submissions into us via our Facebook page! Satire is also an excellent way of getting things off of your chest #JustSaying


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.