Met Office Issue Warning As Large Cloud Of Lynx Africa Expected To Cover The UK On 25th December

The Met Office has issued a warning to citizens as a large cloud of Lynx Africa is expected to cover much on the UK on the 25th December. 

Lynx Africa is one of the most popular brands of Lynx deodorant, and millions of citizens are expected to get tonnes of the stuff from their Mums and Nans in just two days. 

Don’t be alarmed if, when going for a stroll to burn off your Christmas lunch, then the cloud suddenly overcomes you and your families.

You might need to bag some air up with you before you head out, just in case the atmosphere becomes unbreathable. Waitrose carrier bags are particularly useful for catching large volumes of fresh air which is why they are blown all over the place. 

You might also notice a slight irritation to the eyes, nose and throat although it is thought that this will subside once you seek refuge inside. 

Citizens are also being warned not to take any naked flames outside, just in case the atmosphere goes ‘pop’ as often happens when a jet of Lynx Africa hits a naked flame. 

Talking about the situation, the Chief Morale Officer said:

“We all know that we are going to get a bottle of Lynx Africa either from our mum our nan or even worse, from both. 

“It is customary to spray the stuff into the air just as soon as you get it but 60 million people all spraying it at the same time will cause the atmosphere to become full of the sweet smell of Lynx Africa. 

“If you are giving this scent to anyone as a gift, then you are being asked to make sure that the person who opens the present does not then spray the stuff into the atmosphere. 

“Otherwise, this could lead to catastrophic morale failures around the country. 

“Our neighbours in Europe have been put on high alert and have been told to expect the cloud to cover their towns and cities sometime in the afternoon”.

Are you any good at writing satirical articles or do you fancy giving it a go? 

If ‘yes’ and you fancy trying your hand at writing a satirical piece, then send us your best attempt for a chance to get it published on our website and social media pages.

Your article can be about anything you like (apart from politics) and should ideally be between 300-500 words long. 

If your article gets over 250,000 views in four weeks, then we will pay you £100 – what a fantastic morale boost! 

Please send your submissions into us via our Facebook page! Satire is also an excellent way of getting things off of your chest #JustSaying

One comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.