New ‘No One Cares’ Pill To Be Sold Over The Counter
The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that these new ‘no one cares’ pills will be available over the counter from an as-yet-undisclosed date.
The pills are to be administered to citizens who tend to always complain about petty things over and over and over again.
This constant complaining is having the effect of bringing down the morale of the masses who have to endure the endless whinging from citizens who just love to complain.
The pills will also be issued to emergency services personnel who will be able to hand them out when they are called to deal with situations which are a complete waste of their time.
Talking about the pills, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“Clearly, citizens are entitled to complain about certain things such as, the constant lies which are being spoken by some politicians who want to hoodwink citizens into believing certain things.
“But our morale coordination centre is detecting that more and more citizens are complaining about things, just for the sake of it.
“We want our citizens to be happy, and so we are pleased to confirm that these ‘no one cares’ pills will be available from all decent shops sometime in the not-too-distant future.
“If you know anyone who tends to complain about stuff all of the time, then you might want to give them a few verbal warnings before chucking a few of these tablets into their mouths.
Have you experienced a morale failure?
If ‘yes’, then you are encouraged to send us a three-minute video detailing what happened and how the morale failure has affected your well-being.
These videos will then be shared with your fellow citizens (via our facebook page) who will then offer you advice on how to best overcome the morale failure.
Videos should be sent to the Ministry via our Facebook page.