‘Take Down’ Mode To Be Fitted To Cop Cars

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that ‘takedown’ mode will now be fitted to police vehicles for when officers are single crewed. 

Single crewing is a phenomenon in policing where police officers are expected to face dangerous situations on their own and often without any back-up nearby. 

This situation has arisen because, a few years ago, some politicians (who have never had to live in high crime areas) thought that it would be a spiffing idea to cut police numbers, despite the population increasing. 

It’s ok though. 

Takedown mode. Nice.

Because some politicians have now realised what every citizen with an ounce of common sense already knew; that fewer police = more crime. 

With ‘takedown’ mode activated, officers will now be able to deploy various ‘measures’ when on scene and dealing with individuals who desire to harm others. 

Talking about the feature, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“Officers are expected to put their lives in danger to help others, so it is only right that we give them the equipment they deserve. 

“With ‘takedown’ mode, officers will now be able to deal with any situation where a lack of common decency to other people has meant that the police have had to be called. 

“We will also be rolling out the feature to ambulances and fire engines because there are more and more feral citizens out there who do not know how to conduct themselves humanely”. 

Have you experienced a morale failure?

If ‘yes’, then you are encouraged to send us a three-minute video detailing what happened and how the morale failure has affected your well-being.

These videos will then be shared with your fellow citizens (via our facebook page) who will then offer you advice on how to best overcome the morale failure.

Videos should be sent to the Ministry via our Facebook page.

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