Emergency Services & NHS Staff Brace Themselves For Annual Morale Failure (Bonfire Night)
The Ministry of Morale is preparing its Morale Coordination Centre (MCC) to be inundated with calls from emergency services and NHS personnel who will experience morale failures tonight.
The reason for this is that thousands of citizens who like to act like complete tatwaffles will end up firing fireworks at emergency vehicles just because they enjoy acting like complete and utter tat biscuits.
In particular, brave firefighters will come under firework attack by feral and deranged citizens who will take exception to their 100ft bonfires being put out after they get out of control.
The Ministry of Morale will be encouraging firefighters to go to shouts armed with industrial fireworks so they can aim something back towards the ****’s who will point fireworks towards them.
Police Officers will also endure morale failures owing to the number of inbred citizens who will be attacking them with fireworks.
The Ministry of Morale will be liaising closely with the Ministry of Defence so that proper fireworks, commonly referred to as ‘mortars’, can be zeroed in on positions where attacks against the emergency services are launched from.
The Ministry of Morale is also expecting a high volume of calls to its morale hotline from medical staff who will end up having to treat the numpties who drink too much cider before trying to ‘encourage’ their bonfire to ignite, using petrol.
Talking about the situation, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“Each year, feral youths and inbred citizens see fit to attack emergency services personnel with fireworks.
“Most of those responsible for the firework attacks will cower away in the shadows, emerging only for a few seconds to aim their crappy firework towards the emergency services, before scuttling away again back into the shadows from whence they appeared.
“However, this year, some members of the emergency services will be armed with industrial-grade fireworks which will come with laser-guided scopes which will ensure that the fireworks find their target.
“We believe that karma should be instantaneous so anyone who acts like an idiot tonight can expect karma to find them almost immediately in the form of a 25 kg firework that will be aimed at their position.
“Nursing staff will also be able to turn away patients who, owing to their lack of common sense and general negligence, end up getting injured owing to their incompetent stewardship of bonfires and cheap fireworks”.
The Ministry of Morale would like to remind citizens that our Karma Coordination Centre (KCC) will be fully manned tonight and that doses of karma will be dispatched immediately to anyone who cannot control their own caveman-like tendencies to aim fire at their fellow citizens.
If you capture any footage of citizens acting like buffoons tonight, then please send us the footage so that we can share it with the world and bring shame to anyone who does act like a ******* ***** **** *** ******.
Have you experienced a morale failure?
If ‘yes’, then you are encouraged to send us a three-minute video detailing what happened and how the morale failure has affected your well-being.
These videos will then be shared with your fellow citizens (via our facebook page) who will then offer you advice on how to best overcome the morale failure.
Videos should be sent to the Ministry via our Facebook page.