Male Who Hid Firework Up His A*se Cries In Custody After Falling On A Lighter

A male who hid a firework up his a*se before getting lifted by the Cops has ended up in tears after falling on a lighter while being held in custody. 

The male was picked up by the police after acting like a buffoon and causing a nuisance in his local neighbourhood. 

Officers were called to the scene and quickly identified the individual concerned after he was spotted gobbing off as the police entered the estate where the trouble was being reported. 

Having been placed in cuffs (using no more force than was necessary), the moron was taken to a local custody suite where there was a queue of 1364 people waiting to be booked in. 

After waiting in the line for 9 hours, the male inadvertently fell over and landed on a lighter that had been discarded on the floor. 

Upon landing on the lighter, it caused a spark which was enough to ignite a firework that the male had placed up his a*se. 

The cheap firework ended up quadrupling the circumference of the males chocolate starfish, and he was taken to a local hospital where he was treated for his injuries. 

Talking about the incident, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“We would urge citizens of the buffoon variety to not act like numpties to avoid these sorts of morale failures. 

“I have been informed that the male is now waiting for an anus transplant from the next bit of roadkill that is found by Morale Agents who are out on morale patrols. 

Andy Valentin-Itsby, Head of the Ministry’s Karma Coordination Centre, said:

“Karma found this male very quickly and managed to unleash its payload in a very uncomfortable way. 

“We would urge citizens to think twice before acting like an idiot, as we always find that Karma rapidly catches up with anyone who acts like a d*ck. 

“The KCC is seeing an upward trend concerning how often Karma is catching up with the b*llends who cause misery to other people.

“And rightly so.” 

Have you experienced a morale failure?

If ‘yes’, then you are encouraged to send us a three-minute video detailing what happened and how the morale failure has affected your well-being.

These videos will then be shared with your fellow citizens (via our facebook page) who will then offer you advice on how to best overcome the morale failure.

Videos should be sent to the Ministry via our Facebook page.

One comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.