New 30 Gallon Coffee Mug Will Mean Less Refills & More Coffee
Here at the Ministry of Morale, we are conscious of just how important coffee is to the morale of the masses.
Many citizens are unable to function without a hit of caffeine in the morning and coffee tends to make citizens more friendly and less t__tish.
Aside from needing a poo each time you drink a coffee, there are few negatives when it comes to filling your stomach with caffeine.
For this reason, the Ministry of Morale will be commissioning these 30-gallon coffee mugs which can hold, you guessed it, 30 gallons of velvety smooth coffee.
the mug will include a 6 foot straw
Having 30 gallons of coffee means fewer visits to extortionate coffee shops and also means that you will have to spend less time engaging in polite chit-chat around the coffee machines.
Of course, one negative side effect will be just how pungent your breath will smell having consumed 30 gallons of coffee.
But that’s nothing a bit of nutritious chewing gum can’t sort out.
Talking about the announcement, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“Just think about how much time is wasted having to keep refilling your coffee cup.
“And just think about how anxious people feel because they have to strike up boring conversations at the coffee machine with work colleagues who they do not like.
You never need to leave your workstation again
“Well, this 30-gallon coffee mug means that you can stay away from your colleagues, save money and take on the dreary day of work that is ahead of you.
“If you have a ‘special’ toilet at work that nobody else knows about, then we would suggest keeping it locked when you are not using it because you are going to need it after downing 30 gallons of coffee”.
To celebrate this new 30-gallon mug, the Ministry of Morale has commissioned a new mug: