‘Riot Medics’ To Hit The Streets Soon
The Ministry of Morale can confirm that it has decided to teach medics (known as to the media as ‘ambulance drivers’) how to subdue and deal with patients who gob off.
Having heard about the frequency with which medics are verbally and physically abused, the Ministry of Morale decided to act.
Medic’s will now be taught how to subdue violent/aggressive patients via the fine ‘art’ of public order training.
Where necessary, medics will be deployed in full riot gear to areas which are known to cause problems for the emergency services.
If you live in an area that is notorious for its bad attitude towards the emergency services, then you can expect a ‘riot medic’ to attend your address should you ever require their distinct functions.
Our Chief Morale Officer said:
“It is about time that we gave our medics the protection and training which they need to take on the sort of numpties who think that it is ‘ok’ to be abusive towards the emergency services.
“If you are the sort of idiot who is abusive towards the emergency services then – if a ‘riot medic’ is sent to your address – you can expect to be hit on the bonce a couple of times if/when such remedial treatment is deemed as being necessary.
“At least the medics will be fully trained to bandage you up, once the remedial ‘work’ has been dished out.
“Here at the Ministry of Morale, we are sick of hearing about the idiots who attack/abuse the emergency services.
“Proposals have also been made which would see ‘riot medics’ being sent to addresses which have previously been abusive towards emergency ambulance personnel.
“If you live at such an address, then you can expect a visit from a platoon of riot medics in the early hours of the morning”.