Citizens Advised To Adhere To ‘Full Moon Friday 13th Curfew’
The Ministry of Morale is urging all citizens to stay indoors today (Friday 13th September) as we are expecting herds of t__t badgers to emerge from the wilderness after the sun sets.
Not only is today ‘Friday 13th’ but there is also expected to be a full moon of gigantic proportions.
This typically means that a breed of human known as the ‘t*at badger’ will be out-and-about, causing mayhem as soon as the sun sets.
‘t*at badgers’ are known to cause fights, act like **** s and generally be a nuisance.
Our Chief Morale Officer said:
“The emergency services will be on high alert tonight, as thousands of t*at badgers are expected to be on the loose.
“We are therefore advising all decent-minded humans to stay indoors in order to prevent themselves from coming into contact with a t*wt badger.
“t*at badgers are selfish individuals, who are so bored with life that they like to go out and act like d**ks.
“Of course, the moon and the date do not have a direct bearing on how people behave.
“But we have felt it necessary to put this warning out there so that t*at badgers think twice about leaving their dens”.
Are you a t*at badger?
If so, then do everyone a favour and stay inside tonight.
We want to thank you in advance for your cooperation.