New ‘Snowflake Earrings’ Must Now Be Worn By ALL Snowflakes

The Ministry of Morale (that’s us) is today announcing that all snowflakes must now wear these official ‘snowflake earrings’.

Owing to the amount of ‘eyeball wee’ that is lost each time a snowflake gets upset (usually hourly), the Ministry of Morale has been ordered to come up with a solution to stop/contain these ‘leakages’.

After spending billions of pounds of taxpayers money, we have decided that the best option to stop/prevent these tears, would be to force people to have little dangly toilet rolls, hanging from their ears.

This will mean that each time a snowflake cries, then he/she will have quick and ready access to a method of soaking the tears up.

Talking about the announcement, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“Snowflakes have a right to get upset; nobody is disputing that. Especially as there is so much anger in the world at the moment.

“However, it is essential that the tears which are shed by snowflakes do not contaminate the water supply.

“For this reason, all snowflakes must now wear these ‘snowflake earrings’ so that, should they get upset, then they can quickly mop their tears up”.

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