All New Toilets To Be Fitted With USB Chargers

The Ministry of Morale is excited to announce that, as from an as yet undetermined date, all toilets will be fitted with USB charging points.

This measure is being introduced because the Ministry of Morale has noticed that millions of citizens each year experience morale failures after their phones run out of charge after sitting on the toilet for several hours at a time.

This is particularly the case when citizens are at work, as the toilet can provide the only refuge for stressed-out employees who need somewhere where they can escape the f__kwittery of their colleagues.

The new USB connections will mean that you can keep your phone fully charged as you take a dump during work time, in effect, being paid to poop.

No longer will you have to exit the toilet cubicle only to find that you have not got any battery left to help see you through the terrifying journey home that follows a terrible day in work.

Talking about the announcement, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“It is not right that citizens have to sacrifice their phones’ battery when taking a dump on work time.

“For this reason, we have decided to make it compulsory for toilet manufacturers to start fitting USB chargers on to toilets.

“Some toilets will have two charging points so that a phone, as well as a PDA, can both be charged at the same time.

“We are certain that this new measure will help to increase the morale of citizens all around the world (where they have toilets)”.

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