‘We’ll Make It Rain For 365 Days To Reduce Crime’ Says Chief Morale Officer
The Ministry of Morale is announcing plans to interfere with the climate to make it rain for the next 365 days.
it is hoped that, by doing this, then crimes rates around the country will start to decrease as wrong-uns tend not to go out when it’s wet.
Since Mrs May cut police numbers, we have seen an increase in the amount of criminal activity that is being played out on the streets.
This, combined with the fact that most wrong-uns are getting suspended sentences, means that crime has gone up without enough resources being available to the police to detect, prevent and deter the individuals who are intent on causing mayhem.
The 365 days of rain should be enough to temporarily halt the increase in the number of crimes being committed.
Talking about the plans, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“One of the first questions which pops up in the minds of many citizens, is: ‘how are you going to make it rain?’
“The Ministry of Morale will be enlisting the help of citizens to make this happen.
“We are asking for volunteers to gather to carry out a huge communal ‘rain dance’ which, we hope, will be enough to make it rain.
“Thousands of year ago, citizens would get together and dance in the buff to ask the rain Gods to make it rain.
“Although the success of these rain dances was questionable, we think that this was because there weren’t enough people getting involved in the communal naked dances.
“But with 6 billion citizens currently inhabiting the planet, we think that this number will be enough to create biblical levels of rain, not seen since Noah made his Ark.
“The deluge will give law enforcement personnel a chance to ‘re-group’ so that when the rain stops, the criminals will not be able to get away with acting like complete and utter c***s”.