Toilet Seats To Be Chained Down To Appease Women
The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that, as from an unspecified date, we will be chaining all toilet seats down to prevent citizens of the male variety from leaving them up.
Leaving the toilet seat up might not sound like being an act that can cause morale failures, but it does.
No woman wants to touch a toilet seat, let alone have to sit on the actual bowl of the minging toilet.
However, one of the tradeoffs for securing the toilet seat to the ‘down’ position, will be the pools of urine which are left on the seat by some males.
This is due, in part, to the fact that some blokes seem to be unable to control the flow of the discarded water product that leaves their body.
Often, pools of urine can be found on the seats of unisex toilets which not only leads to a considerable morale failure in women but also in men who have to do a number two in a unisex restroom.
As most men do not drink enough water, claiming that they did not see the luminous yellow liquid on the toilet seat before they left is not a viable excuse.
This means that there are some filthy blokes out there who seem to delight in the thought of their urine being deposited on toilet seats.
At first, we thought that this could be because some males were trying to mark their territory – a bit like a dog.
But then, after some surveillance work, we realised that pools of urine were being left on toilet seats just because the individuals leaving them, are skanks.
So hopefully our new strategy of chaining down toilet seats will mean that males cannot leave them in the ‘up’ position, but it will mean that gallons of pish will need to be wiped from the toilet seat before sitting down.