Police Investigate As Stolen Trolleys Are Being Used As BBQ’s

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a new trend that seems to be sweeping the country whereby citizens are stealing supermarket shopping trolleys to have impromptu BBQ’s in public parks.

The craze has become so popular, that shoppers are apparently turning up at supermarkets only to find that they have to try and cram a week’s worth of shopping into a single basket.

Officers have been informed of the situation, but there aren’t any available units to investigate the alleged crimes because most officers are already simultaneously investigating 25 crimes.

Our Chief Morale Officer said:

“If you see citizens in your local park, cooking food on a stolen shopping trolley, then you are allowed to douse the BBQ with water or any other fluids, such as bodily fluids, which you might have on you.

“Until the situation has been resolved, we are advising shoppers to drive their cars into supermarkets by making a hole in the side of the building, and then using their cars as shopping trolleys until stocks can be replenished”.

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