Man Who Can’t Afford Car With Parking Sensors Fits Squeaky Chickens To His Vehicle

During a routine morale patrol, one of our morale agents noticed that a car was being driven with what appeared to be 14 rubber chickens affixed to their front bumper.

After our morale patrol indicated for the vehicle to stop, agents spoke to the driver in order to find out what was going on.

It transpired that the motorist really wanted a vehicle that had parking sensors fitted to it, but because he could not afford such a vehicle, he decided instead to fit squeaky chickens to the front of his car.

Whenever he hits a parked car, the chickens alert bystanders to this, meaning that he is also unable to leave the scene without first leaving his details.

The chickens thus enable the driver to park his car without becoming one of those annoying motorists who will hit your bumper and then simply disappear as if nothing has happened.

Our Chief Morale Officer said:

“If you know someone who cannot park, then you might want to let them know about this great idea.

“Not only will the chickens let you know when you have got too close to the vehicle in front of you, but, because of the manner in which they are placed on the bumper, you will know exactly where on your vehicle you are about to hit the vehicle in front of you.

“Then, depending on the sort of person you are, if you carry on driving and hit the car in front of you then you can either quickly leave the scene or leave your details on the car that you have just hit (once bystanders have filmed the incident on their phones, having been alerted to the impact via the chickens).

“We have also noticed that when driving at speed, then these rubber chickens give off a high pitched whirring noise which alerts badgers and pedestrians to the fact that you are approaching, giving them enough time to get out of your way”.

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