Police Officers Resorting To Cooking Their Refs With Tasers

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a situation whereby police officers have had to resort to cooking their refs using Tasers because they are not being given their statutory breaks.

The Ministry of Morale has been given footage (which we are not going to show in case the mainstream media get hold of it) that shows two police officers deploying their tasers on some chicken drumsticks in order to cook them before scoffing them down prior to the next ‘I’grade non-crime domestic call coming out.

Officers are rarely able to take advantage of having a break during their shifts owing to the fact that some citizens keep complaining about the fact that officers are trying to keep themselves alive by eating and drinking during their shifts.

Our Chief Morale Officer said:

“We would advise officers not to cook their chicken using tasers, because not only will it taste rank, but it probably won’t get properly cooked.

“A better way to cook chicken whilst out on patrol is to turn the heaters up as high as they will go and leaving the chicken on the vents for at least 24 hours.

“If this does not work, then you can always open the bonnet and place the chicken directly on the engine block.

“Another alternative would be to stop turning officers out from their breaks when a non-crime domestic call comes in”.

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