WATCH: Police & Medics Spring Into Action After Football Supporter GBH’d By A Ball
The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of an incident that occurred recently whereby a rogue ball at a football match GBH’d a spectator owing to the manner in which the spectator was eating what appeared to be a hot dog.
In the video (below) the victim can be seen eating his hotdog in an extremely sensual and highly provocative manner.
The football, obviously offended by this, launched itself at the spectator at light-speed and managed to hit the victim straight in the face as he was about to chow-down on the nutritious snack.
Onlookers looked on in shock as they managed to see the ball come hurtling towards the unsuspecting football fan just as he was about to take another bite of the food.
In the video, we have freeze-framed and slowed the footage down so that citizens can fully appraise themselves of the incident including the seconds leading up to it and the seconds after impact.
We have it on good authority that the victim was laughed at by event medics who were on-hand to offer immediate first aid to the hot dog.
We have also been informed that the ball was arrested by the police and is currently being held in a west London Police station.
Talking about the situation, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“We would urge football fans not to eat their food whilst watching a football match as if they are having oral sex with whatever it is they are eating.
“Clearly, this spectacle is enough to offend footballs which have the ability to be able to propel themselves at nearly the speed of light with amazing accuracy.
“If you do feel like ‘having a moment’ with your food, then we would recommend that you both sneak off to the toilets in order to avoid offending any high-velocity balls”.
Thankfully, the spectator made a full recovery, but the same cannot be said for the hotdog that exploded on impact.
Despite the best efforts of medics, the hot dog could not recover from being smashed to pieces by the high-velocity football.