New Chatter-Stop Relief For People With Verbal Diarrhoea
The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that you will no longer have to listen to someone who suffers from repeated spouts of verbal diarrhoea, thanks to these handy new tablets.
If you or someone you know/work with cannot stop talking, then simply give them one of these tablets and within a few minutes, they will stop talking.
The tablets last for around 24 hours but if you administer them rectally then they can last for up to 48 hours.
The tablets will be issued to the emergency services and NHS in order to help them deal with citizens who just cannot stop talking.
However, if you work with someone who is unable to control their mouth, then these handy new tablets should enable you to get some work done without having to resort to violence.
Talking about the medication, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“We all know what a nightmare it can be when you are trying to do your job but you can’t because the people you are dealing with and/or your colleagues cannot stop talking.
“But now you can be guaranteed some peace and quiet within minutes of giving these tablets to the individual who is suffering from verbal diarrhoea.
“As another example of just how useful these tablets will be, law enforcement personnel will be able to administer these tablets to any prisoners who can’t stop gobbing off and who are constantly trapping off about how, if they weren’t in cuffs, then they would ‘take on’ the officer who is stopping them from doing naughty stuff.
“But these tablets will also be handy for ambulance crews who, when asking their patients a few simple questions, get a constant barrage of their entire family’s medical history going back to the days before Christ.
“Whilst the tablets only last for 24 hours, inserting them up the anus of the individual who is suffering from verbal diarrhoea will ensure that they stop waffling for at least 24 hours”.