Why Nurses Keep The World Rotating | National Nurses Week

In case you did not know, it is national nurses week. 

This means that, as well as offering cash gifts to nurses for the amazing work they do, we should also be buying them bags of Haribo sweets in order to help them get through their long, long, long shifts. 

Anyone who is found being horrible to a nurse during national nurses week, will be collected late at night by our morale agents in a white rusty transit van and will be dropped off of Southend seafront when the tide is out. 

Once the tide comes in then the citizens who have been horrible to nurses will be washed out to the North Sea. 

If it wasn’t for the legions of dedicated nurses, then the country would not be able to function, so the Ministry of Morale is asking ALL citizens to remember the amazing work they do. 

Even though successive governments have been unable to fully understand just how hard nurses work, the Ministry of Morale is acutely aware of the sacrifices which are made by nurses on a daily basis. 

Talking about National Nurses week, our Chief Morale Officer said: 

“Unless you are a buffoon, then chances are, you will love nurses just as much as we do. 

“For this reason, we are asking citizens to hand over bundles of cash to nurses as-and-when they spot them. 

“Whilst the government has no real comprehension of how much money nurses should be earning, it is up to everyone else to let nurses know just how much they love them, by giving them bundles of cash in brown envelopes. 

“If you are a bit strapped for cash at the moment, because the tax person has stolen your money from you, then we would recommend that you instead buy any nurses you may know or encounter a packet of Haribo sweets, because this will help them to get through their shift. 

“If you see anyone being horrible to a nurse, then you are hereby instructed to throw faeces and urine over the individual(s) responsible. 

“Maybe then these c__kwombles who are horrible to nurses will understand just how angry they make citizens feel by virtue of their disgraceful actions.

“If you are reading this and you are a nurse, then please know, that the Ministry of Morale Loves you”.  

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