New System For Logging Complaints Against The Police To Be Introduced Shortly

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce a brand new system for logging petty complaints which are made against the police.

For serious & genuine complaints, then the existing system shall continue to be used.

But for citizens who wish to make a complaint about a police officer for doing naughty things such as buying food whilst in uniform or daring to have a cup of tea or coffee, then citizens wishing to make such complaints will be directed to their nearest police station.

For too long now, the ‘powers that be’ have been forced to investigate complaints against officers purely because of political pressures and agendas.

But this has meant that decent officers have had to endure the stress that comes with such complaints because the civilian theory of ‘the customer is always right’ has somehow managed to seep into the police force.

Whilst there will be some instances where citizens have a genuine cause for concern, the current complaints system has just meant that the sort of person who you would not trust to look after your dog whilst you are away is able to get away with causing no-end of misery for the men and women on the thin blue line.

For this reason, the Ministry of Morale will introduce a brand new complaints system for citizens who want to make petty and unreasonable complaints against police officers, because they (the citizens making the petty complaints) have been unable to get rid of the chip that has been left on their shoulder.

Talking about the new measures, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“Whilst we understand that there needs to be a formal system for logging and investigating genuine complaints, we feel that this new system for the silly complaints will help to deter citizens from wasting everyone’s time.

“We recently received a message from a serving officer who had a complaint that was made by a citizen, for driving past them after they had called 999 because they had spotted some youths walking around with knives.

“The fact that the single-crewed officer drove past them because he could see the suspects running away from the scene, seemed not to matter to the professional bystanders.

“Whilst you would have thought that the officer’s inspector would have squared away this stupid complaint, the officer concerned was given a verbal telling off by his inspector for DARING to try and catch the suspects who were armed with knives and, in doing so, DARING to drive by the informant.

“Under this new system, petty and badly-informed complaints such as the one outlined above will be processed by using the red complaints button shown in the image above.

“Police officers are sick of having to be reprimanded by some senior officers because some buffoon decided to adopt the attitude that ‘the customer is always right’.

“They seem not to be able to differentiate between someone who wants to get a refund on a dodgy toaster they have purchased and someone who has been brainwashed by some sections of the mainstream media into thinking that all police officers are ‘bad'”.

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