The Ambulanceman/woman – A Citizens Guide

It has become evident to the Ministry of Morale that some citizens do not understand the role of an ambulanceman/woman.

With this in mind, we have asked an ambulanceman/woman to give us a detailed description of their job so that people can better understand the challenges which they face.

Here is what they wrote:

‘The ambulanceman/woman helps people when they think they are ill. They drive incredibly fast whilst sipping on tea.

‘They enjoy eating Haribo sweets and administer caffeine to themselves intravenously at the beginning of each shift.

‘They all look very old (even the young ones) because they have to carry heavy citizens up and down the stairs and they wrestle with drunk people all throughout the week and especially at weekends.

‘The ambulanceman/woman loves being covered in poo, blood, vomit and wee. If you happen to cover an ambulanceman/woman in poo, blood, vomit and wee all at the same time, then they will give you a lollipop and a sticker.

‘If you swear at an ambulanceman/woman then it makes him/her laugh.

‘When they drive past houses at night, they use their sirens to wake everyone up, especially firefighters. This is especially the case when there is little to no traffic on the roads.

‘The ambulanceman/woman with a pen is very important in his/her world, he/she is an ambulance officer. When you see an ambulance officer, then you must salute them and say ‘good day to you sir/ma’am’.

‘Ambulancemen/women get sent jobs by a highly intelligent computer that knows everything about them and hates them.

‘Ambulancemen/women are very good a moaning towards the end of their 23-hour shift’.

Hopefully this detailed guide will help citizens to better understand the role of ambulancemen and women.

If after reading this, however, you are still confused then feel free to join our approved morale group on Facebook by clicking on this extremely handy link that has been placed HERE for your convenience.

Please also remember to ‘like’ and follow our page for future morale updates.

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