Anyone Found Leaving An Abusive Note On An Emergency Ambulance To Be Made Stateless
Earlier on today, the Ministry of Morale was made aware of an incident that occurred somewhere in the Shires whereby a citizen left several notes on an emergency ambulance because the self-important citizen who wrote the notes took exception to the fact that the ambulance had parked outside of their property.
We were informed by our undercover morale agents (who are embedded within the emergency services) that these notes caused a minor morale failure in the ambulance crew who had just returned to their vehicle having potentially saved someone’s life.
The Ministry of Morale takes the morale of its emergency services personnel extremely seriously and thus incidents of this nature cannot and will not be tolerated.
Let us make it clear: emergency vehicles can park where they want for however long they need to in order to undertake their lifesaving work.
We would advise citizens that, rather than moaning about where the emergency services park their vehicles, then citizens should instead pay homage to an emergency vehicle whenever they see one because the crew of the vehicle could be saving someone’s life.
Anyone idiotic enough to leave a silly note on an emergency vehicle will be hauled before our Morale Council and will, upon being found guilty of causing a morale failure, be made stateless.
This means that the individual who has caused the morale failure amongst emergency services personnel will be set adrift on the north sea aboard an inflatable crocodile.
Their new home (that of the citizen and the inflatable crocodile) will be whichever shore they land on, as long as its not one around the UK.
Talking about the plans, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“If you genuinely and sincerely believe that your being inconvenienced is more important than someone receiving life-saving treatment, then not only should you be ashamed of yourself but you will also be banished to the North Sea.
“Your fellow citizens are sick of your ‘me me me’ attitude which is why, if you leave a note on an emergency vehicle chastising them for their parking, then you must be made stateless and left to the mercy of the prevailing winds.
“If you are the sort of citizen who would write and leave these sort of notes on emergency vehicles, then you are also the sort of individual who believes that, when you call 999 because you dropped your mobile phone on your foot, then the ambulance (that you do not need) should be with you straight away – such is the stench of your self-obsessed ego.
“In short, if you see that an emergency vehicle has parked somewhere that means you are temporarily inconvenienced, then just be thankful that it’s not you who is in need of urgent help.
“This matter will be discussed in further detail in the next issue of our newsletter“.