Concern Grows As More Men Being Admitted To A&E After ‘Falling On’ Hetty The Hoover
The Ministry of Morale is asking humans of the male variety to exercise more caution when in the presence of Hetty Hoovers as we have started to notice a distinct rise in the number of men being admitted to A&E having accidentally fallen onto a Hetty Hoover whilst the hoover just happens to be on.
Bizarrely, we have also noticed that the males who have been involved in these unfortunate incidents just so happen to fall onto the hoover pipe with their ‘manhood’ out, meaning that the aforementioned body part gets ‘stuck’ in the vacuum hose.
The morale failures which are being experienced by the men who have been involved in such an accident is considerable.
It is for this reason that we are sharing this morale announcement in the hope that more men will be more cautious when walking around with no clothes on in close proximity to a Hetty Hoover.
When no-one else is around…
Talking about the situation, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“Walking into A&E whilst towing a hoover behind you, with its hose firmly attached to your own hose, can cause a morale failure of truly epic proportions.
“So in order to avoid these sorts of morale failures, we are advising men to ensure that any hetty hoovers which are in the same room as them, whilst they have no clothes on, are turned off – just for safety reasons.
“Following this simple yet effective advice will lessen the chances of your falling onto a hoover and getting your manhood caught in the pipe.
“This will, in turn, mean that you won’t have to present yourself to A&E with hoover attached to you”.
The Ministry of Morale is committed and dedicated to trying to increase the morale of all citizens all over the world. Please note, that our articles are satirical. We have to add this, as some citizens missed out when common sense was being handed out.
If you have experienced a sudden morale failure or a sudden drop in morale, for whatever reason, then we would invite you to make a 3 minute VLOG explaining what the morale failure is, when it happened, what you think is responsible for the morale failure and any other information which you think we should know about.
We would then invite you to send the video into us, so that we can share it with the general public.
Your fellow citizens will then be able to leave comments on the video giving you their advice and wisdom. Please note, that the video must be at least 3 minutes long, must not contain any profanities and/or nudity.