New Syringes Announced For Patients Who Assault Medical Staff / Ambulance Crews
The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that it will be introducing new syringes reserved JUST for citizens who assault and/or abuse emergency services and/or NHS personnel.
We have decided to commission these new syringes as more and more citizens are telling us that they do not believe that anyone who attacks a member of the emergency services / NHS is getting the message in relation to just how abhorrent such an act of abuse/violence is.
Citizens have been messaging us, via our Facebook page, asking us to do more and to come up with a way of really deterring their fellow citizens from acting like idiots when it comes to how they interact with the truly wonderful and remarkable men and women of the emergency services and NHS.
So after our annual budget was increased from £30 per year to £35 per year by central Government, we decided to pump this extra cash into our brand new research and development department that does not officially exist.
It took our morale scientists only a matter of hours to come up with a new syringe that will be used on citizens who have a history of abuse against our emergency services and NHS when they need medical treatment.
In some cases, the syringe can be used on the citizens even when medical treatment is not sought, such as when they call 999 because they cannot be arsed to make their own way to A&E.
Talking about the syringes, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“We hope that these huge syringes will act as a visual deterrent for individuals who might be inclined to target the emergency services / NHS with their fouls mouths or, even worse, with their fists (or any other body part).
“We all know that if you assault or abuse a member of the emergency services, then you are the lowest of the low.
“Really, you should be stripped of your citizenship and made to live in a country that does not have the luxury of professional emergency services or the luxury of a publicly funded health service.
“We are confident that just one ‘jab’ from one of these new syringes will be enough to make citizens think twice about their conduct.
“It’s a disgrace that some citizens conduct themselves in such a manner.
“How truly vile must you be, to abuse/hurt the very men and women who dedicate their lives to helping others?
“It is, quite frankly, disgraceful”.
The Ministry of Morale is committed and dedicated to trying to increase the morale of all citizens all over the world. Please note, that our articles are satirical. We have to add this, as some citizens missed out when common sense was being handed out.
If you have experienced a sudden morale failure or a sudden drop in morale, for whatever reason, then we would invite you to make a 3 minute VLOG explaining what the morale failure is, when it happened, what you think is responsible for the morale failure and any other information which you think we should know about.
We would then invite you to send the video into us, so that we can share it with the general public.
Your fellow citizens will then be able to leave comments on the video giving you their advice and wisdom. Please note, that the video must be at least 3 minutes long, must not contain any profanities and/or nudity.