Emergency Services & NHS Personnel To Be Sent On Year-Long Yoga Retreat Holiday
The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that all emergency services and NHS personnel (including their close family members) will be sent on a year-long yoga retreat holiday owing to the intense pressure which they have been put under recently.
The emergency services have had to endure an outrageous workload as they struggle to cope with the demand that is being put on them.
What has not helped, is the fact that some people thought that it would be a ‘good’ idea to cut the emergency services’ budget DESPITE the fact that the population is growing and DESPITE the fact that more repeat offenders are spending less time in prison.
You could not make this sort of s**t up.
History will record these p**s poor decisions which have been made by some people in ‘power’ as being some of the dumbest made by any politician.
Meanwhile, the NHS has been struggling to cope as more and more people calling for emergency ambulances to transport them to A&E owing to the fact that they have sustained a nasty papercut or, in some cases, they have stubbed their toes on door frames.
Meanwhile, police officers have had to endure working 6-days-straight of 12-16 hour shifts in order to try and stop the country from falling apart.
They are exhausted. They have had enough.
Some people have said that its “what they signed up for” when really anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that no-one signs up for a job where they are underappreciated, overworked and forced to spend less time with their family and friends owing to the selfish actions of the few.
Indeed, our morale hotline has been inundated with calls from frontline officers who are having to investigate upwards of 23 crimes EACH.
And then the media and some members of the public complain when their report of someone kicking a ball against their fence isn’t investigated when officers are already having to investigate 23 crimes, with 23 suspects, 23 victims and 23 tonnes of evidence.
Whilst some members of senior management teams are hiding the problem because they fear missing out on their next promotion, those who do try and highlight the issue are scorned upon by their political masters who care only about their political parties and their careers.
Meanwhile, morale has never been lower as emergency services & NHS personnel are forced to spend 6 days out of 7 at work, whilst having to endure 12-16 hour shifts.
As it would seem that no-one has the intelligence or willpower to sort the issue out, the Ministry of Morale has decided to send all NHS and emergency services personnel on a much-needed 12-month break to a yoga retreat in order to allow our beloved NHS and emergency services to repair their minds, bodies and souls.
The trip will be paid for by reducing the foreign aid budget, as we have decided that its important that we sort our own s**t out before trying to sort other countries issues out.
This means that of the £12 billion sent to other countries each year, £11 billion will now be spent on repairing the damage caused to this country by some politicians who do not understand how the real world, the world that affects the majority of citizens, actually works.
Talking about the situation, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“Hopefully, the fact that all NHS and emergency services personnel are going to be out of the country for 12-months will prove to the idiots with rose-tinted glasses that our NHS and our emergency services are vital to this country.
“They are taken for granted and they have had enough.
“They are bored of the mainstream media ridiculing them for not being able to keep up with little s**ts who cause trouble before running up a hill whilst they (the police) have to carry 20kgs of kit.
“They are tired of listening to dumbasses telling them that “its what you signed up for” when the same buffoons spouting this nonsense would not know what a hard days work looked like if it kicked them up the a**e.
“They are bored of hearing politicians telling them that “we appreciate what you do” before retreating into one of their 100 country estates to have their egos massaged by their butlers.
“They are tired of working for managers who do not have their backs and who are more concerned with their own careers prospects than the welfare of their hardworking staff.
“They are tired of having to deal with some of the evilest humans known to mankind only to then have some jumped up idiot tell them that they should not be buying food whilst on duty.
“They are sick of going to some of the most heart-wrenching 999 calls only to find that some self-important self-obsessed idiot has left a note on their emergency vehicle telling them that they should spend time looking for a parking space before going to save someone’s life.
“So, for all of these reasons, we have decided to send all NHS and emergency services personnel on a 12-month all-expenses-paid mindfulness holiday.
“They will also be able to take their wives, husbands and children who have to endure not seeing their loved ones for extended periods of time just so that some numpty can prance around with a folder that confirms the country has saved a few billion pounds at the expense of the welfare of the brave men and women who dedicate their lives to keeping us all safe”.
To join the Ministry of Morale’s approved ‘morale group’ on Facebook then CLICK HERE
The Ministry of Morale is committed and dedicated to trying to increase the morale of all citizens all over the world. Please note, that our articles are satirical. We have to add this, as some citizens missed out when common sense was being handed out.
If you have experienced a sudden morale failure or a sudden drop in morale, for whatever reason, then we would invite you to make a 3 minute VLOG explaining what the morale failure is, when it happened, what you think is responsible for the morale failure and any other information which you think we should know about.
We would then invite you to send the video into us, so that we can share it with the general public.
Your fellow citizens will then be able to leave comments on the video giving you their advice and wisdom. Please note, that the video must be at least 3 minutes long, must not contain any profanities and/or nudity.