Politicians To Wear Shock Collars That Will Go Off Each Time They Tell A Lie
The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that politicians who have a track record for not telling the truth to citizens will now be fitted with ‘shock collars’ which will go off every time a lie is told or when the truth is being intentionally held back.
Following the whole Brexit nightmare, our morale agents undertook some extensive research into what some politicians were saying during the various campaigns.
Owing to the amount of waffle that was coming out of some politicians mouths and owing to the fact that citizens weren’t told the truth, it has been decided by the Ministry of Morale that the only way to ensure that the truth is told in future, is by fitting the ‘shock collars’ to politicians who have a propensity to not tell the truth.
The collars will not cause any pain, as the voltage will be very low.
Instead, they will just send a mild tingling sensation into the body of the politician in order to remind them that honesty is the best policy and that personal gain should never be put ahead of the welfare of the country.
It has also been decided that politicians who make really really bad decisions, such as cutting the budget of the emergency services, will have to carry a wooden spoon around with them for an indefinite period of time.
For example, where common sense should inform the politician as to what is a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ idea yet they still go for the bad idea – as in the case of cutting the budgets of the emergency services – then the politicians responsible for such ridiculous and, quite frankly, dangerous decisions will have to carry a wooden spoon around with them as a way of reminding them that they have a responsibility not to make decisions which could put the welfare of citizens at risk.
Talking about the announcements, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“When you decide to become politician, then you have a duty to conduct yourself in a way that means citizens will look up to you and that they will admire your leadership.
This means telling the truth. It also means making decisions based on decency and common sense.
“Where a politician decides, according to their own free will, not to conduct themselves with such integrity, then there will be consequences.
“Our message to politicians is simple: tell the truth and ALWAYS put the welfare of citizens above party politics”.
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The Ministry of Morale is committed and dedicated to trying to increase the morale of all citizens all over the world. Please note, that our articles are satirical. We have to add this, as some citizens missed out when common sense was being handed out.
If you have experienced a sudden morale failure or a sudden drop in morale, for whatever reason, then we would invite you to make a 3 minute VLOG explaining what the morale failure is, when it happened, what you think is responsible for the morale failure and any other information which you think we should know about.
We would then invite you to send the video into us, so that we can share it with the general public.
Your fellow citizens will then be able to leave comments on the video giving you their advice and wisdom. Please note, that the video must be at least 3 minutes long, must not contain any profanities and/or nudity.