Feral Humans Who Attack Firefighters To Be Used As A Replacement For Crash Test Dummies
The Ministry of Morale is today announcing that anyone who attacks a firefighter can be captured by the fire service and can be used as a ‘real life’ replacement for crash test dummies for training exercises.
The announcement comes as the Ministry of Morale has noticed an increase in relation to the frequency of firefighters being attacked whilst dealing with fires which have been started by feral members of the public who have got nothing else better to do with their sorry lives.
Traditionally, crash test dummies are used by firefighters during training exercises in order to simulate rescuing people from fires and from road traffic collisions where ‘people’ are trapped.
However, crash test dummies are not the same as ‘real’ humans.
So rather than damage perfectly innocent crash test dummies, the Ministry of Morale will allow Firefighters to catch anyone who attacks them whilst they are out on a job.
Firefighters will then be allowed to take the feral individual(s) who have tried to attack them back to their fire stations where they can then be used in various training exercises. Over and over and over again.
Talking about the situation, our Chief Morale Officer said:
“Whilst we knew that there were some proper d**kheads out there, little did we know that there were as many oxygen thieves in existence as there are who are willing to attack firefighters.
“Over the course of the next few weeks, our undercover morale agents will be laying traps for these feral oxygen thieves so that we can capture one of them before carrying out some experiments on them in order to establish just why they are so f**king stupid.
“In the meantime, however, Firefighters will be allowed to capture the idiots who attack them so that they can save money on expensive crash test dummies.
“If this pilot is successful, then we will extend the idea to the rest of the emergency services too so that the ambulance service can use people who attack them for ‘medical’ training and the police can use people who attack them for ‘riot’ training.
“We envisage that, under these new proposals, the emergency services will be able to save millions of pounds each year on the cost of crash test dummies and other similar dummies/paper targets etc.
“As far as the Ministry of Morale is concerned, then if you attack a member of the emergency services, then the emergency services are free to use you as they see fit”.
To join the Ministry of Morale’s approved morale group on social media, CLICK HERE The Ministry of Morale is committed and dedicated to trying to increase the morale of all citizens all over the world.
If you have experienced a sudden morale failure or a sudden drop in morale, for whatever reason, then we would invite you to make a 3 minute video clip explaining what the morale failure is, when it happened, what you think is responsible for the morale failure and any other information which you think we should know about.
We would then invite you to post the video onto our Facebook page, so that we can share the video with the general public.
Your fellow citizens will then be able to leave comments on the video giving you their advice and wisdom. Please note, that the video must be at least 3 minutes long, must not contain any profanities and/or nudity.