Traditional Sirens To Be Replaced By Whale Music

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that it will be replacing ALL emergency sirens with whale music in order to try and prevent motorists from driving dangerously when they hear emergency vehicles.

Traditional sirens have been known to cause drivers to do weird and dangerous things such as come to a complete stop in the middle of the road, put their hazard lights on whilst not pulling over or just ignoring emergency vehicles altogether.

By replacing traditional sirens with whale music, then it is hoped that the meditative tones produced by the whale music will help drivers to think straight and thus prevent them from making irrational decisions when they hear an emergency vehicle approaching.

Talking about the strategy, our Chief Morale Officer said:

“Whereas the majority of motorists act accordingly when they hear emergency sirens, there is still a hardcore of motorists out there who undertake strange manoeuvres such as slamming on their breaks and stopping in the middle of the road.

“This not only causes a danger to other road users, but it causes a danger to emergency services personnel as well.

“By replacing tradition sirens with whale music, it is hoped that motorists will enter a meditative trance-like state and will simply slow down and pull over so emergency vehicles can pass them.

“We are expecting that, upon hearing the whale music sirens, some pedestrians might even automatically take up yoga positions on the side of the road and thus they won’t walk out directly into the path of an approaching emergency vehicle.

“This trial project will start at some point in the future, starting in London as that is where most blue-light drivers report some of the most ridiculous reactions by motorists to emergency vehicles”.

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