VEGANS Are Being Advised NOT To Drive As Fuel Is Made Of Dead Dinosaurs
The Ministry of Morale is advising vegan citizens not to drive their vehicles, as petrol and diesel is actually made of dead dinosaurs.
The announcement comes as our morale scientists, during some routine morale experiments, realised that there might be hundreds of vegans driving cars without realising that their combustion engine is running on dead dinosaur juice.
This morale warning does not apply to vegans who might be driving around in electric cars which are made of non-animal products (such as the Nissan Leaf which is made of leaves and has an electric engine).
Talking about the Morale Advisory Notice (MAN), our Chief Morale Officer said:
“We wanted to publish this notice just in case there were vegans out there who might not realise that by driving a car with an internal combustion engine, then you are in fact using dead dinosaur matter that has been sucked up from underneath the earth.
“We would urge our vegan citizens who may not have been aware of this situation, to immediately get out of their vehicles and continue the rest of their journeys on foot.
“If you no longer want your dead-dinosaur-guzzler, then I have a mate called ‘Dave’ who will give you a couple of quid for your car.
“We are also asking vegans who might be driving around in electric vehicles to offer other vegans who have just found out that their car is a non-vegan-friendly one, to offer their fellow vegans lifts to their onward destinations.
“As a result of this announcement, we are envisioning that there will be hundreds of vegans who might be stuck on hard
“Please, therefore, think about carrying some kale or carrots in the back of your vehicles just in case you come across a stranded and hungry vegan.
“If you know any vegans who are currently driving around in cars which have combustion engines, then please make them aware of the fact that their cars are not vegan-friendly modes of transport”.
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