New Public Toilets Designed To Help People Make Friends

Making new friends and meeting new chums is essential when it comes to trying to maintain high levels of morale during periods of low morale. 

But in a time when most people walk around with their heads down, staring at the phones while watching dashcam footage of road rage incidents, then how can citizens be expected to make new friends?

The days of going up to random people and saying “Will you be my friend?” have long gone with there being a high chance of your being punched in the face should you approach a random person with such a question.

And this is why the Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that we will be rolling out these new public toilets which should give citizens the chance to make new friends while passing bodily fluids and solids.

The toilets will also be unisex meaning that if you are single and you are ‘caught short’ while out-and-about, then you will have an excellent opportunity to meet potential new dates.

The toilets will be free to use (for the first six months) and will also be fitted with CCTV so that individuals who do end up starting a relationship can request to get the footage of the moment they first met.

This footage can then be uploaded to social media for the whole world to see and can also be played at any future weddings/divorce parties. 

Our Chief Morale Officer said: 

“Usually, when people are forced to use public toilets, they are overcome with an enormous sense of anxiety at the thought of having to use a bathroom that would not look out of place in a pig farm.

“However, we think that these new toilets will be a great way to not only encourage people to use public restrooms, but they will also be an excellent opportunity for people to make new friends and to meet future husbands/wives etc.

“Each toilet will be fitted with industrial-strength extractor fans to avoid any awkward ‘aromas’ when trying to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger.

“There is also a high probability that our morale agents will intentionally remove toilet paper from some of the new toilets, just to see what happens when two complete strangers are both faced with every toilet-goers worst nightmare.

“We think that this sort of situation would be a great team-building exercise as the duo are forced to work together to avoid any awkward ‘situations’.

“The toilets will be rolled out soon, but expect to see the first ones pop up in London, Liverpool and Manchester”.

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