Drivers Who Drive UNDER The Speed Limit To Be Sent On ‘Slow Speed Awareness’ Courses
Our morale algorithms have recently detected that people on social media are talking about drivers who REFUSE to drive at the posted speed limit and, in some cases, have been seen driving at 30MPH in areas where the speed limit is 60MPH.
We have made the assessment that this practice is starting to affect citizens morale and must therefore stop.
As from an as yet undetermined date, anyone who is caught driving vastly under the speed limit will be sent on a ‘slow speed awareness course’.
The course will involve strapping drivers to a chair that will then be launched, at considerable speed, down a race track.
Our Chief Morale Officer said: “It is hoped that by launching drivers who cannot drive at the posted speed limit down a race track without any protection, then they will effectively become immune to the effects of driving at the actual speed limit.
“If you are unable to drive a car on the road at the posted speed limit, then you really should not be on the road at all.
“You are directing contributing to road rage and thus we cannot allow this to continue as road rage leads to low morale”.
The course will not be aimed at drivers who drive just under the posted speed limit, but will instead be aimed at drivers who sit behind the steering wheel with their faces about 1 inch away from the air bag and who drive at speeds ‘significantly’ under the posted speed limit – i.e. doing 30 mph in a 60 mph zone.
Slow moving vehicles, such as tractors and tanks, will only be allowed on the roads between 0100 – 0200 each morning under new proposals. Yet to be proposed.
The Ministry of Morale is committed to try and increase the morale of all citizens both inside and outside of the public sector, from all over the world.
If you have experienced a sudden and unexpected drop in morale, for whatever reason, and you would like to make us aware of what has happened, then you are encouraged to make a short video of the ‘morale failure’ and send it into us via our facebook page (see below).
The video might then be shared with the general public in order to bring awareness to the issue that has led to the morale failure.