Category Archives: Morale Notice

Always Answer Your Phone By Saying ‘My Battery Is Almost Dead’ To Avoid Unwanted Conversations

The Ministry of Morale has detected a severe and sharp increase in the number of calls being made to our morale hotline by citizens who have experienced morale failures after being forced to speak to someone on the phone who they do not like.  This situation can occur when, for example, your boss calls you on a withheld number or

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‘Man Up’ Pills To Be Offered Free Of Charge To ALL Snowflakes

The Ministry of Morale is becoming increasingly concerned about the number of morale failures which are being experienced by snowflakes.  For example, over the last 24 hours, we have received millions of calls on our morale hotline by citizens who have experienced a morale failure after a fellow citizen called them a nasty name (such as ‘idiot’ or ‘buffoon’).  A

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Citizens Advised To Adhere To ‘Full Moon Friday 13th Curfew’

The Ministry of Morale is urging all citizens to stay indoors today (Friday 13th September) as we are expecting herds of t__t badgers to emerge from the wilderness after the sun sets.  Not only is today ‘Friday 13th’ but there is also expected to be a full moon of gigantic proportions.  This typically means that a breed of human known

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New ‘GINBULANCES’ Being Rolled Out Across The Country

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to confirm that from an as-yet-unspecified date, a new emergency ‘Ginbulance’ service will be introduced. The ‘Ginbulance’ will be on-hand to make its way to anyone who requires a Gin, for whatever reason. Citizens who need Gin will be able to call a dedicated number that will put them straight through to the Gin

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Donald Trump Gets ‘Harpooned’ For ‘Prince Of Whales’ Gaff

President Donald Trump’s dodgy spelling habits on Twitter surfaced again on Thursday when he wrote about having recently met with the “Prince of Whales.” Rather than the Prince of the marine mammals, President Trump was referring to Charles, prince of Wales, whom he met last week at World War II commemorations in Britain. The error prompted a ‘wave’ of morale

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Do You Know Anyone Who Suffers From Rectal Cranial Inversion?

Rectal Cranial Inversion (RCI), otherwise known as Head Up Your Ar*e Syndrome, affects the lives of many. Billions of employees around the world feel the direct results of RCI because they have a manager or supervisor who really cannot differentiate their head from their ar*e. Support Groups are popping up on social media in order to try and overcome the

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WATCH: Britain’s Got Talent WORST Audition Tape Finally Revealed

We have managed to obtain some footage of what has been graded by our morale analysts as potentially being the worst ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ audition tape that we have ever seen. Although the video (below) does have the slight effect of raising the morale of citizens, this effect is only temporary. And you’ll see why. As you watch the video,

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Snapchat’s New ‘Gender-Swap’ Filter Likely To Cause Serious Morale Outbreaks (And Failures)

The Ministry of Morale, the fictitious organisation that we are, has been monitoring the use of Snapchat’s new ‘gender swap’ filter that seems to have been responsible for numerous outbreaks and failures of morale. The filter enables men to see themselves as women, and women to see themselves as men. One of the stand-out images from the filter is the

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Why Female Citizens Should Keep Clear Of Mint & Tea Tree ‘Original Source’ Shower Gel

The following is an important message from a citizen of the female variety who wants to share her experiences of using the incredibly potent ‘Original Source’ mint & tea tree shower gel. It is hoped that, by sharing this message, then female citizens won’t endure the same sort of morale failure as experienced here: “Um, Original Source… can we talk?

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