Category Archives: Morale Notice

Citizens Advised To Adhere To ‘Full Moon Friday 13th Curfew’

The Ministry of Morale is urging all citizens to stay indoors today (Friday 13th September) as we are expecting herds of t__t badgers to emerge from the wilderness after the sun sets.  Not only is today ‘Friday 13th’ but there is also expected to be a full moon of gigantic proportions.  This typically means that a breed of human known

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New ‘GINBULANCES’ Being Rolled Out Across The Country

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to confirm that from an as-yet-unspecified date, a new emergency ‘Ginbulance’ service will be introduced. The ‘Ginbulance’ will be on-hand to make its way to anyone who requires a Gin, for whatever reason. Citizens who need Gin will be able to call a dedicated number that will put them straight through to the Gin

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Donald Trump Gets ‘Harpooned’ For ‘Prince Of Whales’ Gaff

President Donald Trump’s dodgy spelling habits on Twitter surfaced again on Thursday when he wrote about having recently met with the “Prince of Whales.” Rather than the Prince of the marine mammals, President Trump was referring to Charles, prince of Wales, whom he met last week at World War II commemorations in Britain. The error prompted a ‘wave’ of morale

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Do You Know Anyone Who Suffers From Rectal Cranial Inversion?

Rectal Cranial Inversion (RCI), otherwise known as Head Up Your Ar*e Syndrome, affects the lives of many. Billions of employees around the world feel the direct results of RCI because they have a manager or supervisor who really cannot differentiate their head from their ar*e. Support Groups are popping up on social media in order to try and overcome the

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WATCH: Britain’s Got Talent WORST Audition Tape Finally Revealed

We have managed to obtain some footage of what has been graded by our morale analysts as potentially being the worst ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ audition tape that we have ever seen. Although the video (below) does have the slight effect of raising the morale of citizens, this effect is only temporary. And you’ll see why. As you watch the video,

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Snapchat’s New ‘Gender-Swap’ Filter Likely To Cause Serious Morale Outbreaks (And Failures)

The Ministry of Morale, the fictitious organisation that we are, has been monitoring the use of Snapchat’s new ‘gender swap’ filter that seems to have been responsible for numerous outbreaks and failures of morale. The filter enables men to see themselves as women, and women to see themselves as men. One of the stand-out images from the filter is the

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Why Female Citizens Should Keep Clear Of Mint & Tea Tree ‘Original Source’ Shower Gel

The following is an important message from a citizen of the female variety who wants to share her experiences of using the incredibly potent ‘Original Source’ mint & tea tree shower gel. It is hoped that, by sharing this message, then female citizens won’t endure the same sort of morale failure as experienced here: “Um, Original Source… can we talk?

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Billions Of Citizens Inundated With ‘Gin’ After Asking Alexa To Remind Them To ‘Go To The Gym’

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a situation that has led to billions of citizens being inundated with copious amounts gin after asking ‘Alexa’, the intelligent speaker, to remind them to ‘go to the gym’. However, instead of being reminded to ‘go to the gym’ citizens are finding that barrels of gin are arriving at their doors.

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Male Citizens Being Admitted To A&E After Using Dyson ‘Ball Cleaner’

The Ministry of Morale is asking citizens of the male variety to cease using the incredibly powerful ‘Dyson Ball Cleaner’ to clean their balls. Despite the name, the ‘ball cleaner’ refers to the fact that the hoover can swivel on a huge ball rather than the device being a means of cleaning one’s own balls. We have had some reports

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