Category Archives: Common Sense Announcement

New System For Logging Complaints Against The Police To Be Introduced Shortly

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce a brand new system for logging petty complaints which are made against the police. For serious & genuine complaints, then the existing system shall continue to be used. But for citizens who wish to make a complaint about a police officer for doing naughty things such as buying food whilst in uniform

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Anyone Found Leaving An Abusive Note On An Emergency Ambulance To Be Made Stateless

Earlier on today, the Ministry of Morale was made aware of an incident that occurred somewhere in the Shires whereby a citizen left several notes on an emergency ambulance because the self-important citizen who wrote the notes took exception to the fact that the ambulance had parked outside of their property. We were informed by our undercover morale agents (who

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‘Extinction Rebellion’ Protesters To Be Sent To China (The Worlds Biggest Polluter)

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that the well-meaning protestors who are currently bringing the capital to a grinding halt, and who are causing gridlock traffic in the process (leading to more pollution), will be sent to China in carbon-neutral sailboats. This is because, according to Wikipedia, China is the worlds biggest producer of harmful CO2 emissions followed closely by

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House Of Commons To Be Switched Off And Then Back On Again To Try And Resolve Issues

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that it will be switching the House of Commons off and then back on again in order to try and resolve the ongoing issues which are being experienced within it. Most people know that by switching something off and then back on again, then any issues which are being experienced tends to be resolved

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New Morale Poll Suggests That People Want The Queen To Be Prime Minister

As our readers know, the Ministry of Morale is constantly monitoring the morale of the masses in order to try and ensure that morale levels are kept high. Over the weekend, we conducted a poll of our citizens in order to try and find out who they wanted to lead the country. Unfortunately, our morale poll indicated that there weren’t

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Government To Allow Citizens To Claim Back Sleep Lost From Moving The Clocks Forward

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that we will be asking the Government to allow citizens to claim back all of the hours of lost sleep which they have had to endure from needlessly moving the clocks forward. This annoying practice of manipulating time, without good reason, has led to millions of people losing millions of hours of

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WATCH: Male Behind ‘FREE HUGS’ Movement In America To Be Invited To UK To Sort Out BREXIT Divide

The Ministry of Morale is today announcing that we will be inviting the peace-loving male behind the ‘free hugs’ movement, Ken Nwadike Jr, to the UK in order to try and end the division and hate being caused in the country by Brexit. The ‘Free Hugs Project’ was started by a Ken who became motivated to try and stop violence

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A&E Visits Down 45% Whilst Facebook Was Down As People Couldn’t ‘Check-In’ On Social Media

Raw(ish) data has been seen by the Ministry of Morale that suggests that A&E visits were down 45% during the recent Facebook outage because most people knew they wouldn’t be able to check-in into A&E on social media without saying why. Our intelligence suggests that these people, instead of going to A&E, just decided to pop to their local pharmacies

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Citizens Are Being Asked To Refrain From Throwing Bread At Police Helicopters

The Ministry of Morale is asking citizens to refrain from throwing bread at police helicopters in the hope of attracting the choppers down to the ground from the sky. The Ministry has recieved reports from aircrews that people are throwing bread at them, mistaking the huge helicopter for birds. We are not sure, at this time, where this bizarre trend

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