Category Archives: Common Sense Failure

Citizen Has A Meltdown After Member Of Emergency Services ‘Spotted’ In A Shop

The follow is a personal message from our Chief Morale Officer to the citizen who posted in a ‘spotted’ group, after they saw a member of the emergency services DARE to enter a shop: BEGIN MESSAGE: ‘You might think that this headline/morale notice is a wind-up. But, alas, it is not. Someone actually had a morale failure after they saw

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Our Police Officers Are Enduring Morale Failures Like NEVER Before | Morale Report

As the only ‘organisation’ that genuinely cares about the collective morale of the emergency services, then we feel obliged to report to citizens that the majority of police officers are enduring morale failures like never before. If you have a chip on your shoulder or you don’t like the police (because you keep getting arrested) or you believe that the

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Owner Of £60,000 Mercedes Endures HUGE Morale Failure As Car Sinks Beneath The Waves

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of an incident whereby the owner of a £60,000 Mercedes decided to take their vehicle ‘off road’ (onto a beach) only to see their pride-and-joy sink beneath the frigid waves as the tide came in after the car got stuck in the sand. The owner/driver of the car decided to enjoy the

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Citizens Asked NOT To Put Their Dogs In Bins After They Have Pooped

During a routine morale patrol, our morale enforcement officers noticed that a citizen had placed their dog directly into a bin after her dog had pooped on a communal bit of grass. As the citizen who had carried out this worrying act was still in the vicinity, our morale enforcement officers asked her to account for her actions. It transpired

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A Policeman Was Filmed Bouncing On A Trampoline | But Here’s Why No-One Really Cares…

One of our undercover morale agents brought our attention to the fact that a video has emerged on social media of a police officer bouncing on a trampoline in the garden of a property that officers were ‘visiting’ owing to suspected criminality at the address. The video was filmed by an official member of the Association of Professional Bystanders (APB)

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Protestors Sending Mixed Messages As Hyde Park Resembles A Plastic Rubbish Tip (This Is Satire By The Way)

Some protestors and/or campaigners (we aren’t sure exactly who) have been sending mixed messages to the environment and to the general public, by not taking their rubbish home with them after a hard day of filling up London’s parks and have instead been leaving a vast amount of plastic waste in public areas. The protestors who took up residence in

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‘Extinction Rebellion’ Protesters To Be Sent To China (The Worlds Biggest Polluter)

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that the well-meaning protestors who are currently bringing the capital to a grinding halt, and who are causing gridlock traffic in the process (leading to more pollution), will be sent to China in carbon-neutral sailboats. This is because, according to Wikipedia, China is the worlds biggest producer of harmful CO2 emissions followed closely by

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Co-op Causes Multiple Morale Failures By Rebranding ‘Gingerbread Man’ To ‘Gingerbread Person’

Our regular readers will know, that, in keeping with our aim of increasing the morale of the masses, the Ministry of Morale sometimes writes allegories in order to make people aware of ‘things’ which affect peoples morale. However, in this instance, the Ministry of Morale can confirm that no such allegory is needed. Earlier on today, our morale monitoring equipment

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Hospital Parking Fees Continue To Cause Multiple Morale Failures

The Ministry of Morale has just finished doing some research into the impact that hospital parking fees has on the morale of general public and we have found that thousands of people are still furious at having to pay to see their loved ones in hospital. Out of everyone our morale agents spoke to who had to part with several

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