Category Archives: Satire

‘Please Don’t Wear Your Pajamas To Our Store’

Sleepy shoppers have been asked to refrain from wearing their bedtime attire to the shops to ‘avoid causing embarrassment to others’ A morale-depleting notice read: ‘to avoid causing embarrassment to others, we ask that our customers are appropriately dressed when visiting the store.  ‘sleepwear/payamas [sic] is not permitted.’  Happy shoppers have told the Ministry of Morale that the sight of

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Top Reasons Nurses Are Leaving The Professional To Become High-Class Escorts

The Ministry of Morale has been conducting exit interviews with nursing staff who have been leaving the profession to become high-class escorts. We asked leavers to note down the top three reasons as to why they choose to leave the nursing profession to become £1,000-per-night escorts. Our statisticians collated all of the answers which did not contain any profanities, and

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New ‘Wambulances’ To Be Rolled Out To Ease Strain On Emergency Services

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce the introduction of a fleet of brand new ‘Wambulances’ which are intended to help take the strain off of the overworked, overstretched and under-resourced emergency services.  Many citizens may not know, but much of the emergency services time is taken up dealing with adults who behave like ‘numpties’.  There is also a

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New ‘Vegan Only’ KFC Causes Morale Outbreak Amongst Vegan’s

A new ‘vegan only’ KFC has caused an outbreak of morale amongst humanities vegans as they face the prospect of eating food that tastes nice.  The restaurant, to be opened in Abingdon, will serve delicacies such as wood bark, leaves and straw.  It is thought to be the first of its kind and is expected to be a complete success

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‘Riot Medics’ To Hit The Streets Soon

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that it has decided to teach medics (known as to the media as ‘ambulance drivers’) how to subdue and deal with patients who gob off. Having heard about the frequency with which medics are verbally and physically abused, the Ministry of Morale decided to act. Medic’s will now be taught how to subdue violent/aggressive

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Boris Johnson (Might) Consider Going To European Court Of Human Rights Following Supreme Court Ruling

The Ministry of Morale is hearing through the grapevine that the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, is considering going to the European Court of Human Rights following the decision of the Supreme Court that was made this morning.  As citizens may (or may not) know, the Ministry of Morale has undercover morale agents located in various ‘sneaky-beaky’ locations, including, but

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Citizens Advised To Adhere To ‘Full Moon Friday 13th Curfew’

The Ministry of Morale is urging all citizens to stay indoors today (Friday 13th September) as we are expecting herds of t__t badgers to emerge from the wilderness after the sun sets.  Not only is today ‘Friday 13th’ but there is also expected to be a full moon of gigantic proportions.  This typically means that a breed of human known

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Amazon Fire Sticks Blamed For Amazon Fires

Citizens have been calling for Amazon Firesticks to be banned following the devasting fires which have led to less oxygen being produced owing to the destruction of the rainforest. Despite the greedy little bas_ards who have been starting the fires giving zero f__ks about the damage which they have been causing to the planet’s lungs, there has been widespread disgust

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New ‘Snowflake Earrings’ Must Now Be Worn By ALL Snowflakes

The Ministry of Morale (that’s us) is today announcing that all snowflakes must now wear these official ‘snowflake earrings’. Owing to the amount of ‘eyeball wee’ that is lost each time a snowflake gets upset (usually hourly), the Ministry of Morale has been ordered to come up with a solution to stop/contain these ‘leakages’. After spending billions of pounds of

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