Category Archives: General Morale

New ‘Masturbation Tax’ To Be Introduced To Raise Much-Needed Funds

Running a country is expensive. Especially when the private sector knows exactly how to mug you off and you pay your politicians £100,000 per year for a few days of work. So that’s why we have decided to introduce a ‘masturbation tax’ that will help to ‘raise’ some much-needed funds. Seeing as how citizens get taxed to the hilts on

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WATCH: New Way Of Settling Work-Related Arguments Announced

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce a new non-confrontational way of settling work-related arguments and/or disputes that does not resort to violence. Rather than having an argument at work in front of peace-loving colleagues, then any employees who end up having a disagreement over things such as ‘who used my milk?’, ‘where is my fork?’ and ‘who has

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Police Deploy Undercover ‘Land Sharks’ In Order To Deter Thieves

Images have emerged on social media of what is believed to be the first undercover police dog (aka ‘Land Shark’) taken as the dog spied on some wrong’uns using binoculars, whilst hiding under a car. These highly-trained dogs are able to spend long periods of time on surveillance jobs as they only need a small bowl of water and some

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Billions Of Citizens Inundated With ‘Gin’ After Asking Alexa To Remind Them To ‘Go To The Gym’

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a situation that has led to billions of citizens being inundated with copious amounts gin after asking ‘Alexa’, the intelligent speaker, to remind them to ‘go to the gym’. However, instead of being reminded to ‘go to the gym’ citizens are finding that barrels of gin are arriving at their doors.

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Citizens Seen Leaving The UK En Masse In Pink Inflatable ‘Coffins’

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of citizens leaving the country in inflatable pink ‘coffins’ in the hope of finding somewhere a bit more friendly to live. Our Morale Agents started to notice at around 06:00 hours this morning that thousands of citizens were inflating their pink ‘coffins’ up on the beach before casting themselves adrift. One of

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City In Lockdown After Giant Emojis Escape From Emoji Farm

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of an incident currently unfolding somewhere in the Shires, whereby giant emojis have managed to escape from an inflatable emoji factory. So far there hasn’t been any reports of citizens being violated by the emojis but the Ministry of Morale is urging citizens to stay away from the area until the intentions

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