Category Archives: Citizen Morale

WATCH | Citizen Experiences Morale Failure After Falling Off His Truck

For reasons known only to the four brains cells within this citizens head, he decided that it would be a good idea to remove himself from behind the wheel of his truck and climb on top of its roof. While even a toddler would understand the consequences of doing this, it would appear that this fully grown adult did not.

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Bacon Grease To Become Official ‘Essential Oil’

The Ministry of Morale is acutely aware of the rise in popularity of essential oils, especially where citizens are using them instead of more traditional medicines. However, we can now confirm that ‘bacon grease’ will now also be officially recognised as an essential oil that can help people combat the feelings of hunger and fatigue. To use the oil correctly,

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New Curry Houses With Toilets For Seats Means You Won’t Have To Leave The Table

In an attempt to try and increase the morale of diners, the Ministry of Morale has decided to allow curry houses to install working toilets for seats. This will mean that, should you encounter a particularly spicy curry that makes you want to go to the toilet instantly, then you won’t even have to leave your seat to go. You

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Protestors Call On Food Companies To Stop Killing Fish For Their Fingers

The Ministry of Morale has had some top intelligence via our undercover morale agents regarding some protestors who are planning to descend on London, to call for a halt to killing fish for their fingers. Fish fingers are a favourite meal for both adults and children, but protestors are concerned about the amount of fish which are being harvested just

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Male Wanted By The Police Turns Himself In And Tries To Claim £10,000 Reward

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a morale failure that occurred after a wanted man turned himself in, hoping that he would get the £10,000 reward that was being offered for his capture. Unfortunately, the male did not realise that he could not claim the reward and thus experienced an immediate morale failure as he had been

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109-Year-Old Woman Confirms That Secret To Long Life Is Avoiding Other People

The Ministry of Morale has recently published the results of a survey that we conducted on citizens aged over 100-years-old, where we asked them what the ‘secret’ to a long life was. 98% of those who responded told us unequivocally that the key to their longevity was their ability to avoid other people – specifically those who are deemed as

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Theresa May To Appear In This Years Series Of Love Island

While monitoring our morale detection equipment, Morale HQ detected an outbreak of morale in the production offices of Love Island. Upon further investigation, it transpired that Theresa May had agreed to go on this year’s series of the popular show as a contestant. The announcement was welcomed with rapturous applause as Mrs May could do with a break away from

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