Category Archives: Citizen Morale

Woman Who ‘Married’ A Ghost Pirate Says She ‘Divorced’ Him After He ‘Tried To Kill Her’

A citizen of the American variety has announced that she has divorced her ghost pirate husband after he allegedly tried to ‘kill her’.  The citizen in question was apparently quite happily married to the ‘pirate ghost’ who she met on the popular dating website ‘DateGhostPirates.com’, having paid a $1,000 joining fee to a company based in North Korea.  But the

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Worlds First ‘Adult Film’ University To Be Built In Birmingham

The worlds first ‘Adult Film’ University is to be built in Birmingham according to a source who is close to the project. For decades now, citizens have been complaining about the sub-standard acting skills which can (apparently) be found in most feature-length adult films. Men and women who have been looking for gritty dramas have been let down after seeing

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‘Jeremy’s Retirement Drinks’ Event Set Up On Facebook With 13k Citizens ‘Interested’

A retirement drinks event has been set up on Facebook to mark the imminent retirement of the current Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn.  The ‘event’ is running from today up until the 25th December, meaning that the knees-up will be spanning 12 days; making it one of the most extended retirement drinks events ever recorded.  So far, 5,100

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Santa Goes AWOL After A Heavy Drinking Session In Poland

The Ministry of Morale (Morale Coordination Centre) has been notified about an incident involving Santa while he was transiting through Poland.  At around 23:15 hours yesterday evening, Santa was seen to enter a strip club in a well known night spot as he stopped for a quick break in Poland.  However, he did not emerge from the festive venue until

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Christmas Postponed After Santa Endures 72-Hour Wait In A&E

Unfortunately, Christmas has now been postponed in order to give Santa enough time to recuperate from a 72-hour wait in A&E.  The Festive character was taken to hospital via a blue-light Taxi-ambulance after he became stuck in someone’s chimney during a trial run, ready for the 24th December.  However, the chimney that he picked was much smaller than his large

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Have You Seen Them? Missing Person Reports Filed For Diane Abbott & Jacob Rees-Mogg

The Ministry of Morale has filed two missing person reports for Diane Abbott and Jacob Rees-Mogg.  The duo has not been seen since the general election (to be held on the 12th December) was announced.  Rees-Mogg was last seen three weeks ago being chased down by an angry pack of citizens who were heard to shout various expletives at him. 

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Man Turns Into A Doughnut After Eating The Sweet Treat Non-Stop For Ten Years

The Ministry of Morale has been informed of a morale failure involving a citizen who ate only doughnuts for around ten years.  The male in question woke up to find that overnight, his body had taken on the form of a doughnut.  As soon as we heard about the incident, we sent our morale agents to the location to support

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Christmas Decorations Which Ruined Christmas

As citizens start to prepare to adorn their houses with fairy lights and other festive decorations, the Ministry of Morale is reminding citizens to make sure that their decorations comply with the relevant law. Last year, the Ministry of Morale was inundated with complaints from citizens who had experienced morale failures after turning up to their relatives’ house only to

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