An angry protestor has been spotted armed with a giant pencil trying to ‘rub out’ a police officer during some demonstrations regarding the lack of morale in society. The Ministry of Morale is pleased to report that no officers were rubbed out during the encounter and that the protestor was given a massive pencil case to put his oversized pencil
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The Ministry of Morale is pleased to inform its citizens that we have now introduced a selfie cubicle in most public toilets so that anyone who is obsessed with taking a picture of themselves in the toilet, can now do so in private. The strange phenomenon of taking selfies in the toilet has often meant that unsuspecting citizens have been
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The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that on a date that is yet to be determined, all workplaces will be fitted with these brand new ‘half-loos’. The toilets will mean that your boss will be able to keep an eye on you while you are using the loo; thus enabling them to ensure that you are not wasting
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A man who has fought a 12-year addiction to brake fluid has said that he can ‘stop anytime he wants’ after local supplies of the liquid ran out. The addiction started when the male mistook a can of brake fluid for a can of coke. After ingesting the highly noxious and highly corrosive fluid, the male noticed that – because
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Recently, our morale hotline has been inundated with calls from angry citizens who have endured morale failures after stepping in dog s*it that has been left on the streets and in parks by lazy dog owners. Because so many people have been off of work and have been walking their dogs over the last two weeks, the amount of dog
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Two girls have been rescued after being adrift in the North Sea for 28 days after falling over the side of a ferry that was bound for France. Despite having no lifejackets, the duo managed to stay afloat owing to their massive lip fillers which acted as buoyancy aids for the seafaring friends. A vast search had been conducted in
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A secret Government document from an anonymous whistleblower suggests that some tasks currently carried out by Fire, Police and Ambulance services could be outsourced to delivery company ‘Uber Eats’. The document allegedly states that studies indicate that Uber Eats respond to calls significantly faster than the emergency services. In cases of minor fires, selected Uber Eats drivers would be issued
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A father from Harrogate has today been left totally bamboozled by his family’s latest news. The father has been encouraging his teenage daughter to do some chores around the house in order for her to gain some ‘life experience’ and actually earn her pocket money before she goes off to university. However, in a cruel twist of fate, his notion
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The Met Office has issued a warning to citizens as a large cloud of Lynx Africa is expected to cover much on the UK on the 25th December. Lynx Africa is one of the most popular brands of Lynx deodorant, and millions of citizens are expected to get tonnes of the stuff from their Mums and Nans in just two
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A builder who asked his apprentice to order a ton of ‘hard core’ from the internet got an unwelcome surprise when a ton of ‘hardcore’ adult magazines turned up at his industrial unit. Having been given the instruction, the keen apprentice immediately spent the next 60 minutes ordering back-issues of various adult magazines for his boss. Eager to please, the
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