Category Archives: Armed Forces Morale

Morale Failure As Two Navy Pilots Disciplined For ‘Drawing’ Massive Penis Using Their Jets

The Ministry of Morale (armed forces division) understands that the United States Navy has disciplined two of its pilots who drew a giant penis in the skies above Washington State. Citizens looked on in amazement at what they saw as the two unidentified pilots of the EA-18G ‘Growler’ (no pun intended – that’s the actual name of the aircraft) outlined the

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Paper Targets To Be Given More Rights Under New Proposals

Paper targets which are often found at the end of firing ranges are to be given more rights under new proposals being put forward by the Ministry of Morale. Paper targets are often forced to stand at the bottom of ranges whilst security services personnel unleash a volley of rounds towards them. However, the paper targets are rarely consulted in

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Former ISIS Members Who Want To Now ‘Come Home’ Told To ‘F__K OFF’ By The Public

This morning at around 0930 hours, our morale monitoring equipment went into meltdown after detecting numerous morale failures throughout the country. Immediately, our morale agents started to try and work out what had caused the morale failures so that morale enforcement units could be despatched to the areas which needed them most. After some sneaky-beaky work by our morale agents,

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New Gum Released To Help Prevent Excessive Masturbation

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that a new chewing gum has been developed in order to help people who have become addicted to the act of ‘self love’. It is hoped that the gum will prevent the need for people to ‘relieve’ themselves when in places other than their bedrooms. Whilst the act of self-love can be

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Soldiers Voted As Being The ‘Sexiest’ In The Armed Forces According To New Poll

During a recent deployment to America, our highly trained and equally-as-motivated morale officers, whilst having a few drinks in a local strip joint, asked some of the dancers who, out of the armed forces, they thought was the sexiest. Out of the 7 dancers asked, 6 said (in the confines of a private booth) ‘soldiers’ whilst 1 said ‘sailors’. Unfortunately,

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Why You Don’t ‘Have’ To Wear A Poppy, But It Would Be Nice If You Did

Our morale algorithms have been detecting that there has been quite a bit of ‘chatter’ on the interweb recently about people being “forced” to wear poppies for remembrance day. Just to clarify, if you do not want to wear a poppy, then you dont have to. But it would be nice if you did wear one, and here’s why: It

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“Let Our Veterans Travel FIRST CLASS For Free!” Says Our Top Morale Official

As remembrance day fast approaches, we have noticed that lots of bus companies have kindly offered Veterans and serving members of the armed forces free travel on buses. Whilst this is a kind and much-appreciated gesture, we would like to ask airline companies if they too can extend their hand of gratitude to our veterans by offering them FREE First

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Could The Country’s Rancid Food REALLY Be Sent To Military Barracks?

Our Morale Agents have noticed that there has been a lot of ‘chatter’ recently on various Military pages and forums on social media about just how bad the food is that is often served up in mess halls around the country. Based on this information, one of our undercover morale operatives was sent to a local Perfect Fried Chicken ‘food

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