Category Archives: Firefighter Morale

Emergency Services & NHS Staff Brace Themselves For Annual Morale Failure (Bonfire Night)

The Ministry of Morale is preparing its Morale Coordination Centre (MCC) to be inundated with calls from emergency services and NHS personnel who will experience morale failures tonight. The reason for this is that thousands of citizens who like to act like complete tatwaffles will end up firing fireworks at emergency vehicles just because they enjoy acting like complete and

Read more

New ‘Wambulances’ To Be Rolled Out To Ease Strain On Emergency Services

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce the introduction of a fleet of brand new ‘Wambulances’ which are intended to help take the strain off of the overworked, overstretched and under-resourced emergency services.  Many citizens may not know, but much of the emergency services time is taken up dealing with adults who behave like ‘numpties’.  There is also a

Read more

‘Is The Road Really Closed’? Citizen Overheard Asking Police Officer As Volcano Erupts

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of an incident that unfolded somewhere around the globe recently whereby a road had to be closed owing to the fact that a volcano was erupting. As an unknown citizen approached the road closure, he was heard by one of our undercover morale agents to say: “Officer, is the road really closed?

Read more

Fire Service Forced To Use Disused Toilets For BBQs As Effects Of Cutbacks Still Being Felt

Sad images have emerged on social media of firefighters having to use disused toilets as BBQs as the effects of the savage cutbacks continue to still be felt throughout the emergency services. Ordinarily, during the summer months, firefighters often will resort to cooking their food on BBQs in between dealing with emergency calls. And whilst only the ‘best’ BBQ’s used

Read more

Anyone Found Leaving An Abusive Note On An Emergency Ambulance To Be Made Stateless

Earlier on today, the Ministry of Morale was made aware of an incident that occurred somewhere in the Shires whereby a citizen left several notes on an emergency ambulance because the self-important citizen who wrote the notes took exception to the fact that the ambulance had parked outside of their property. We were informed by our undercover morale agents (who

Read more

Kid Realises His Childhood Is Over After Getting Stuck In A Swing

Our Morale Enforcement Team detected that a young lad experienced a morale failure after getting stuck in a swing at a local park, requiring Firefighters to come and rescue him. Knowing exactly when your childhood is over and adulthood begins has often caused confusion amongst young citizens. But it would seem that the ‘swing’ test could potentially be a good

Read more

New Syringes Announced For Patients Who Assault Medical Staff / Ambulance Crews

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that it will be introducing new syringes reserved JUST for citizens who assault and/or abuse emergency services and/or NHS personnel. We have decided to commission these new syringes as more and more citizens are telling us that they do not believe that anyone who attacks a member of the emergency services /

Read more

Cake Fine To Be Extended To 999 Crews Who Wave At ‘Morbulances’

The MoM is today announcing that any emergency services crews who get caught waving at so-called ‘Morbulances’ when mistaking them for emergency ambulances will now be subjected to a cake fine in accordance with the Cake Fine (Offences) Act. For our civilian readers who may not know, Morrison delivery vans are often mistaken for ambulances whilst emergency services personnel are

Read more

Emergency Services & NHS Personnel To Be Sent On Year-Long Yoga Retreat Holiday

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that all emergency services and NHS personnel (including their close family members) will be sent on a year-long yoga retreat holiday owing to the intense pressure which they have been put under recently. The emergency services have had to endure an outrageous workload as they struggle to cope with the demand that

Read more

Feral Humans Who Attack Firefighters To Be Used As A Replacement For Crash Test Dummies

The Ministry of Morale is today announcing that anyone who attacks a firefighter can be captured by the fire service and can be used as a ‘real life’ replacement for crash test dummies for training exercises. The announcement comes as the Ministry of Morale has noticed an increase in relation to the frequency of firefighters being attacked whilst dealing with

Read more
« Older Entries