Category Archives: Medic Morale

New ‘Clown’ Ambulance To Be Sent To People Who Call 999 For Papercuts

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce the introduction of a new emergency ambulance service that will be reserved, especially for people who call 999 for papercuts and other silly reasons. For example, if you call 999 and demand an ambulance because you have dropped your mobile phone on your foot, then the clown ambulance will attend. The clown

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‘Is The Road Really Closed’? Citizen Overheard Asking Police Officer As Volcano Erupts

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of an incident that unfolded somewhere around the globe recently whereby a road had to be closed owing to the fact that a volcano was erupting. As an unknown citizen approached the road closure, he was heard by one of our undercover morale agents to say: “Officer, is the road really closed?

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New Chatter-Stop Relief For People With Verbal Diarrhoea

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that you will no longer have to listen to someone who suffers from repeated spouts of verbal diarrhoea, thanks to these handy new tablets. If you or someone you know/work with cannot stop talking, then simply give them one of these tablets and within a few minutes, they will stop talking. The

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New Ambulance Has Window, Blinds & Hammer On The Inside…But Nobody Cut The External Wall

The Ministry of Morale is investigating after evidence surfaced of a brand new ambulance having a window (complete with a blind and a hammer) on the inside of the vehicle, but then somebody appears to have forgotten to cut the external wall of the vehicle, thus making the ‘window’ completely redundant. An undercover morale operative messaged morale HQ and said:

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The Ambulanceman/woman – A Citizens Guide

It has become evident to the Ministry of Morale that some citizens do not understand the role of an ambulanceman/woman. With this in mind, we have asked an ambulanceman/woman to give us a detailed description of their job so that people can better understand the challenges which they face. Here is what they wrote: ‘The ambulanceman/woman helps people when they

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New Syringes Announced For Patients Who Assault Medical Staff / Ambulance Crews

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that it will be introducing new syringes reserved JUST for citizens who assault and/or abuse emergency services and/or NHS personnel. We have decided to commission these new syringes as more and more citizens are telling us that they do not believe that anyone who attacks a member of the emergency services /

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Cake Fine To Be Extended To 999 Crews Who Wave At ‘Morbulances’

The MoM is today announcing that any emergency services crews who get caught waving at so-called ‘Morbulances’ when mistaking them for emergency ambulances will now be subjected to a cake fine in accordance with the Cake Fine (Offences) Act. For our civilian readers who may not know, Morrison delivery vans are often mistaken for ambulances whilst emergency services personnel are

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Emergency Services & NHS Personnel To Be Sent On Year-Long Yoga Retreat Holiday

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that all emergency services and NHS personnel (including their close family members) will be sent on a year-long yoga retreat holiday owing to the intense pressure which they have been put under recently. The emergency services have had to endure an outrageous workload as they struggle to cope with the demand that

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Feral Humans Who Attack Firefighters To Be Used As A Replacement For Crash Test Dummies

The Ministry of Morale is today announcing that anyone who attacks a firefighter can be captured by the fire service and can be used as a ‘real life’ replacement for crash test dummies for training exercises. The announcement comes as the Ministry of Morale has noticed an increase in relation to the frequency of firefighters being attacked whilst dealing with

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Traditional Sirens To Be Replaced By Whale Music

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that it will be replacing ALL emergency sirens with whale music in order to try and prevent motorists from driving dangerously when they hear emergency vehicles. Traditional sirens have been known to cause drivers to do weird and dangerous things such as come to a complete stop in the middle of the road, put

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