Category Archives: NHS Morale

Emergency Services & NHS Staff Brace Themselves For Annual Morale Failure (Bonfire Night)

The Ministry of Morale is preparing its Morale Coordination Centre (MCC) to be inundated with calls from emergency services and NHS personnel who will experience morale failures tonight. The reason for this is that thousands of citizens who like to act like complete tatwaffles will end up firing fireworks at emergency vehicles just because they enjoy acting like complete and

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Top Reasons Nurses Are Leaving The Professional To Become High-Class Escorts

The Ministry of Morale has been conducting exit interviews with nursing staff who have been leaving the profession to become high-class escorts. We asked leavers to note down the top three reasons as to why they choose to leave the nursing profession to become £1,000-per-night escorts. Our statisticians collated all of the answers which did not contain any profanities, and

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New Chatter-Stop Relief For People With Verbal Diarrhoea

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that you will no longer have to listen to someone who suffers from repeated spouts of verbal diarrhoea, thanks to these handy new tablets. If you or someone you know/work with cannot stop talking, then simply give them one of these tablets and within a few minutes, they will stop talking. The

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Anyone Found Leaving An Abusive Note On An Emergency Ambulance To Be Made Stateless

Earlier on today, the Ministry of Morale was made aware of an incident that occurred somewhere in the Shires whereby a citizen left several notes on an emergency ambulance because the self-important citizen who wrote the notes took exception to the fact that the ambulance had parked outside of their property. We were informed by our undercover morale agents (who

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New Syringes Announced For Patients Who Assault Medical Staff / Ambulance Crews

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that it will be introducing new syringes reserved JUST for citizens who assault and/or abuse emergency services and/or NHS personnel. We have decided to commission these new syringes as more and more citizens are telling us that they do not believe that anyone who attacks a member of the emergency services /

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Emergency Services & NHS Personnel To Be Sent On Year-Long Yoga Retreat Holiday

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that all emergency services and NHS personnel (including their close family members) will be sent on a year-long yoga retreat holiday owing to the intense pressure which they have been put under recently. The emergency services have had to endure an outrageous workload as they struggle to cope with the demand that

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Hospital Parking Fees Continue To Cause Multiple Morale Failures

The Ministry of Morale has just finished doing some research into the impact that hospital parking fees has on the morale of general public and we have found that thousands of people are still furious at having to pay to see their loved ones in hospital. Out of everyone our morale agents spoke to who had to part with several

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Throwing An Egg At An MP Means 28-Days In Jail. Bite, Punch Or Kick A Police Officer And You’ll Get A Fine

The Ministry of Morale, via our covert sneaky-beaky morale monitoring equipment, noticed recently that there was a drop in morale detected within the wider emergency services family. After some research by our covert morale agents, it was established that the reason for this drop in morale was because many members of the emergency services family, the police in particular, could

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A&E Visits Down 45% Whilst Facebook Was Down As People Couldn’t ‘Check-In’ On Social Media

Raw(ish) data has been seen by the Ministry of Morale that suggests that A&E visits were down 45% during the recent Facebook outage because most people knew they wouldn’t be able to check-in into A&E on social media without saying why. Our intelligence suggests that these people, instead of going to A&E, just decided to pop to their local pharmacies

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