Category Archives: Police Morale

Study Reveals That 99% Of People Who Refer To The Police As ‘Pigs’, Failed The Police Entrance Exam

The Ministry of Morale can reveal that 99% of the individuals who call the police ‘pigs’ have, in fact, failed the police entry exam. This would explain why such individuals compare police officers to animals that have to put up with being surrounded by so much s**t every day. The study was started after one of our undercover morale officers

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Police Officers Refusing To Do Their Level Two Public Order Training To Safeguard Their Morale

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of the fact that some police officers are refusing to do their level two public order training, as, once completed, the training adversely affects their (already depleted) morale. We are hearing unconfirmed yet credible reports that the number of cancelled rest days for level two officers is now getting beyond a joke,

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Male Wanted By The Police Turns Himself In And Tries To Claim £10,000 Reward

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a morale failure that occurred after a wanted man turned himself in, hoping that he would get the £10,000 reward that was being offered for his capture. Unfortunately, the male did not realise that he could not claim the reward and thus experienced an immediate morale failure as he had been

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‘Is The Road Really Closed’? Citizen Overheard Asking Police Officer As Volcano Erupts

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of an incident that unfolded somewhere around the globe recently whereby a road had to be closed owing to the fact that a volcano was erupting. As an unknown citizen approached the road closure, he was heard by one of our undercover morale agents to say: “Officer, is the road really closed?

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New Chatter-Stop Relief For People With Verbal Diarrhoea

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that you will no longer have to listen to someone who suffers from repeated spouts of verbal diarrhoea, thanks to these handy new tablets. If you or someone you know/work with cannot stop talking, then simply give them one of these tablets and within a few minutes, they will stop talking. The

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WATCH: Huge Convoy Of Police Spotted Heading Towards Krispy Kreme Doughnut Sale

Video footage has emerged on social media of at least three million police vans heading towards what our morale agents believe is a Krispy Kreme doughnut sale. Our Morale Monitoring Centre spotted the video whilst conducting some surveillance on some citizens who we believe have been responsible for some recent outbreaks of morale. In the video (below) millions of police

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Chief Constable Endures Temporary Morale Failure As Staff REFUSE To Let Him Into Police Building

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a minor incident that has led to a well-respected Chief Constable experiencing a temporary failure of morale. The morale failure occurred yesterday when the Chief Constable of West Midlands Police, Dave Thompson, tried to get into one of his police buildings (Oldbury block). As the card entry system to the building

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Our Police Officers Are Enduring Morale Failures Like NEVER Before | Morale Report

As the only ‘organisation’ that genuinely cares about the collective morale of the emergency services, then we feel obliged to report to citizens that the majority of police officers are enduring morale failures like never before. If you have a chip on your shoulder or you don’t like the police (because you keep getting arrested) or you believe that the

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