Author Archives: Chief Morale Officer

Don’t Want To Get Knocked Off Your Stolen Scooter? Then Stop For The Cops You Buffoon!

Some citizens, journalists & politicians might be offended by the ‘harsh’ tone used in the headline of this public service announcement. But we can guarantee that such snowflakes have never been on the wrong end of a wrong’un who has decided to use a moped in order to escape from the police after committing their ‘deed’. Our message is so

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Citizens Urged Not To Create ‘Tank Drivers Slits’ During Freezing Conditions

The Ministry of Morale is asking citizens not to drive with ‘tank drivers slits’ on their windscreens as temperatures start to dip below the zero mark. Our roaming morale patrols have noticed that some motorists cannot be bothered to clear their windscreens of ice and are instead opting to drive with the same restricted visibility that a tank driver would

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Morale Scientists Discover Governmentium “Thing”

Morale University researchers have discovered the heaviest chemical element yet known to science: Governmentium (Symbol=Gv). This element has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since

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Revellers Urged Not To Fornicate Outside At Work Christmas Party

Here at the Ministry of Morale, we are always concerned for the welfare of our citizens. This is especially so when there is a higher risk of our citizens getting themselves into sticky situations. As we all know, the season of work Christmas parties is fast-approaching. A time when office sexual tension explodes in a climax of drunken physical ‘cuddles’.

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WATCH: Maybe The Weirdest Thing You Will See On The Internet Today?

Not only does the Ministry of Morale have morale agents based all around the world, but we also have a morale department for animals too. Therefore, our attention was drawn to the video below that appears to show model plane enthusiasts taking it upon themselves to ‘air drop’ cockerels into the countryside. Whilst the video may be funny to some,

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One Of Our Morale Patrols Spotted This Sign

During a routine patrol, one of our morale officers (a follower) spotted this sign purporting to offer ‘free’ penis enlargement therapy on the NHS for anyone who just happens to drive a 4×4, Jeep or Range Rover in the City. The exact location of the sign is yet to be confirmed, but clearly whoever has decided to make the sign

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This Spelling Mistake Could Have Had Serious Repercussions

Initially, the Ministry of Morale thought that a new way of dealing with people who take stuff from shops without paying had been announced. We weren’t too sure how this new proposal might work, considering that people selling their bodies is often frowned upon. But then, we did think that this ‘solution’ might encourage people not to walk into shop,

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Great News For Common Sense, Bad News For Wrong’uns

The Met has announced that it is going to allow specially trained drivers to use ‘tactical options’ when trying to bring naughty people using motorbikes to account for their crimes. Wrong’uns have always thought that if they carried out their ‘deeds’ whilst using a stolen motorbike, then they would be able to get away with it. Not any more. Our

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