Author Archives: Chief Morale Officer

Midget Straps On Climbing Gear After New Partner Proclaims: ‘I’ve Not Had Many Partners Before’

A midget has been spotted descending into his partner after his partner told him that they had ‘not had many partners before’.  The picture was taken just as the male descended into his partners’ intimate parts and was sent into the Ministry of Morale as the witness was worried about the welfare of the midget.  The male was last seen

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New Police Bikes Will Ensure That Wrong’uns Won’t Be Able To Get Away

The Ministry of Morale (MoM) is pleased to announce the delivery of our brand new and environmentally friendly MKII ‘Enforcer’ police motorbikes.  They have been designed with the comfort of the rider in mind, without compromising on the need for the rider to stop the wrong’uns from getting away.  We have also added better hand controls on the handlebars, which

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Ambulance Stretchers Fake Fainting In Hope That Dispatch Chooses Another Crew

Stretchers assigned to emergency ambulances have been spotted by crews faking fainting episodes in the hope that dispatchers pick other ambulances to attend specific jobs.  The creepy phenomenon was first spotted after an emergency ambulance crew were dispatched to a call where a patient was complaining of a sore toe after stubbing it on a foam box.  The crew assigned

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Staff Spotted Putting Booze In Cough Syrup Bottle So They Can Do Shots At Work

The Ministry of Morale has noticed that employees have been putting booze in their bottles of cough syrup so that they can get hammered while at work.  As most cough syrups have a booze-like aroma, most managers and supervisors haven’t even noticed that their staff have been knocking back shots of various spirits.  But supervisors and management started to become

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Prince Andrew Could Be Sacked From His Job As Prince

The Ministry of Morale understands that Prince Andrew could potentially be sacked from his role as ‘Prince’. The unconfirmed reports come from an unknown source who is widely known on social media, but who does not have a name or a face.  They provided us with a legit P45 from the ‘Prince HR Department’ which overseas the conduct of all

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Citizens Car Filled With Concrete After Parking Like A T*at

A citizen has experienced an enormous morale failure after returning to their vehicle only to find that it had been filled with quick-drying concrete.  The male had intentionally parked his car in two parking spaces because he was worried about someone accidentally hitting his door.  However, like most of the idiots who intentionally take up two spaces, he failed to

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Panic As Vehicles Start Telling Owners To ‘Contact Dealer’

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a situation whereby vehicles are instructing their owners to contact their dealers.  The strange situation has been reported by citizens up-and-down the country and has caused a great deal of anxiety amongst law-abiding motorists.  It is thought that more and more cars are turning to their dealers as they have to

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Officer Gives In To Public Pressure And Issue’s Himself A Parking Ticket

A Police Community Support Officer has issued himself with a parking ticket after giving in to the public’s insistence that the emergency services should not be allowed to park where they need to. In this instance, the PCSO had been speaking to a motorist after the motorist was spotted driving like an idiot.  The officer decided to give the motorist

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Police Morale Survey: “Leave Us The F**k Alone So We Can Do Our Job Properly”

The results of our latest police morale survey are now in. It would appear that one of the biggest causes of morale failures in the police, is due to the point-scoring interference of politicians and professional bystanders  These two groups of people often get in the way of the police, preventing them from being able to do their job effectively.

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Audi Drivers MOST Likely To Soak Pedestrians By Driving Through Puddles At High Speed

A Ministry of Morale investigation has revealed that Audi drivers are most likely to drive at high-speed through puddles in an attempt to soak unsuspecting pedestrians.  The research was carried out by the Ministry of Morale after our morale hotline received dozens of calls from citizens who had experienced morale failures after being soaked.  The Ministry sent its Morale Agents

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