Author Archives: Chief Morale Officer

Protestors Call On Food Companies To Stop Killing Fish For Their Fingers

The Ministry of Morale has had some top intelligence via our undercover morale agents regarding some protestors who are planning to descend on London, to call for a halt to killing fish for their fingers. Fish fingers are a favourite meal for both adults and children, but protestors are concerned about the amount of fish which are being harvested just

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Male Wanted By The Police Turns Himself In And Tries To Claim £10,000 Reward

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a morale failure that occurred after a wanted man turned himself in, hoping that he would get the £10,000 reward that was being offered for his capture. Unfortunately, the male did not realise that he could not claim the reward and thus experienced an immediate morale failure as he had been

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109-Year-Old Woman Confirms That Secret To Long Life Is Avoiding Other People

The Ministry of Morale has recently published the results of a survey that we conducted on citizens aged over 100-years-old, where we asked them what the ‘secret’ to a long life was. 98% of those who responded told us unequivocally that the key to their longevity was their ability to avoid other people – specifically those who are deemed as

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Theresa May To Appear In This Years Series Of Love Island

While monitoring our morale detection equipment, Morale HQ detected an outbreak of morale in the production offices of Love Island. Upon further investigation, it transpired that Theresa May had agreed to go on this year’s series of the popular show as a contestant. The announcement was welcomed with rapturous applause as Mrs May could do with a break away from

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Police Investigate As Stolen Trolleys Are Being Used As BBQ’s

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of a new trend that seems to be sweeping the country whereby citizens are stealing supermarket shopping trolleys to have impromptu BBQ’s in public parks. The craze has become so popular, that shoppers are apparently turning up at supermarkets only to find that they have to try and cram a week’s worth

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Man Who Can’t Afford Car With Parking Sensors Fits Squeaky Chickens To His Vehicle

During a routine morale patrol, one of our morale agents noticed that a car was being driven with what appeared to be 14 rubber chickens affixed to their front bumper. After our morale patrol indicated for the vehicle to stop, agents spoke to the driver in order to find out what was going on. It transpired that the motorist really

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Do You Know Anyone Who Suffers From Rectal Cranial Inversion?

Rectal Cranial Inversion (RCI), otherwise known as Head Up Your Ar*e Syndrome, affects the lives of many. Billions of employees around the world feel the direct results of RCI because they have a manager or supervisor who really cannot differentiate their head from their ar*e. Support Groups are popping up on social media in order to try and overcome the

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WATCH: Britain’s Got Talent WORST Audition Tape Finally Revealed

We have managed to obtain some footage of what has been graded by our morale analysts as potentially being the worst ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ audition tape that we have ever seen. Although the video (below) does have the slight effect of raising the morale of citizens, this effect is only temporary. And you’ll see why. As you watch the video,

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