Heroic Dog Swims 22 Nautical Miles Out To Sea To Retrieve Owners Ball

A heroic hound has been commended by ball enthusiasts for swimming 22 miles out into the North Sea to retrieve his owner’s favourite tennis ball.  The dog, named ‘Neptune’, was taking its owner for a walk along the beach earlier this year.  The dog had instructed its owner to repeatedly throw the ball into the heavy seas so that ‘Neptune’

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Pressing The ‘Home’ Button On Your Phone When At Work Does Not Mean You Can Leave Early

Citizens have been reporting morale failures via our morale hotline after realising that pressing the ‘home’ button on their phones while at work, won’t actually get them home.  Citizens have told us that they thought pressing the ‘home’ button would mean that they could finish work, despite only being there five minutes. After pressing the ‘home’ button on their mobile

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Police Officers Must Now Provide Energy Bars To Wrong’uns Who Run Away From Them

The Ministry of Morale has decided that Police Officers and PCSOs must now provide energy bars to citizens who run away from them; just in case the wrong’uns get hungry.  This foolish decision has been made after it became apparent that police officers are not removing their own clothing to keep wrong’uns warm who have broken the law.  So we

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New ‘No One Cares’ Pill To Be Sold Over The Counter

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that these new ‘no one cares’ pills will be available over the counter from an as-yet-undisclosed date. The pills are to be administered to citizens who tend to always complain about petty things over and over and over again.  This constant complaining is having the effect of bringing down the morale of

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‘Take Down’ Mode To Be Fitted To Cop Cars

The Ministry of Morale can confirm that ‘takedown’ mode will now be fitted to police vehicles for when officers are single crewed.  Single crewing is a phenomenon in policing where police officers are expected to face dangerous situations on their own and often without any back-up nearby.  This situation has arisen because, a few years ago, some politicians (who have

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Emergency Services & NHS Staff Brace Themselves For Annual Morale Failure (Bonfire Night)

The Ministry of Morale is preparing its Morale Coordination Centre (MCC) to be inundated with calls from emergency services and NHS personnel who will experience morale failures tonight. The reason for this is that thousands of citizens who like to act like complete tatwaffles will end up firing fireworks at emergency vehicles just because they enjoy acting like complete and

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McDonalds Boss Fired For Dipping His McNugget In Staffs’ Sauce Box

The big boss of McDonald’s (not Ronald McDonald, but someone else) has been fired after he was caught dipping his McNugget in a sauce box that belonged to one of his staff.  Big-bosses are always expected to keep their McNuggets to themselves, and it is often frowned upon if any big bosses are seen to dip their McNuggets in sauce

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Intelligent People Recommend Drinking 11 Glasses Of Booze Per Day To Help Stave Off Reality

A recent study conducted by intelligent people recommends that citizens consume at least 11 glasses (or bottles) of booze per day to help stave off reality.  If you work in a particularly stressful job, then it is recommended that you quadruple this number.  Escaping from the reality of high taxes, s*it weather, bad bosses and people who have B.O. can

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