Male Tries To Outsmart A ‘Medical Kiosk’, But FAILS

An unhappy citizen contacted us recently after they had a bizarre encounter with a ‘medical kiosk’. The message sent into our Morale Operations Centre read: ‘Asda installed a medical kiosk, for £10 and a urine sample, it would diagnose any condition. ‘When my friend went with a sore elbow, the computer printout read: “You have tennis elbow. Soak it in

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New ‘GINBULANCES’ Being Rolled Out Across The Country

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to confirm that from an as-yet-unspecified date, a new emergency ‘Ginbulance’ service will be introduced. The ‘Ginbulance’ will be on-hand to make its way to anyone who requires a Gin, for whatever reason. Citizens who need Gin will be able to call a dedicated number that will put them straight through to the Gin

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Grandma’s Experience Morale Failures As ‘Nana Slicers’ Hit The Market

Grandma’s around the country have experienced an ‘en-masse’ morale failure after ‘Nana Slicers’ started to hit the shelves in shops up-and-down the country. One ‘Nana’ told us: “Literally, I have been looking after the Grandkids for the last 18 years, always when my offspring cannot find a babysitter, and this is the way that society repays me? “Nana’s need to

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All New Toilets To Be Fitted With USB Chargers

The Ministry of Morale is excited to announce that, as from an as yet undetermined date, all toilets will be fitted with USB charging points. This measure is being introduced because the Ministry of Morale has noticed that millions of citizens each year experience morale failures after their phones run out of charge after sitting on the toilet for several

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Phone Bills Soar When Social Media Is Down, As People Have To Phone Their Friends To Find Out What They Had For Dinner

A survey conducted by the Ministry of Morale (survey department) has found that, on average, when social media websites are down, peoples phone bills increase by around 1,000%. Our research has shown that this is because citizens make billions of phone calls as they ask their friends/family about what they had for breakfast, lunch & dinner rather than getting such

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15-Year-Old Lad Sues Parents For Setting Up CCTV In His Room To Stop Him W__king

A young lad who suffered from a significant morale failure is intending to sue his mum and dad after they installed mini CCTV cameras in his bedroom to stop him from ‘pleasuring himself.’ The disgruntled 15-year-old boy from Alaska told local morale agents that his parents set up the security cameras in his bedroom after his mother caught him ‘in

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Fire Risk As Citizens Plug Their Phone Chargers Into Dollars Bills, Hoping They ‘Charge’ To $100 Bills

The Ministry of Morale is advising citizens who find themselves in the United States NOT to plug their phone charges into dollar bills in the hope that they ‘charge up’ to $100 bills. The trend started after someone called ‘Hunter’ was overheard talking in a Hooters Bar about how he had managed to turn a $1 into $100 after he

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Citizen Collects Lottery Winnings Wearing A ‘Scream’ Mask So His Friends & Family Don’t Ask Him For Money

A citizen based in the U.S. has been photographed picking up his lottery winnings while wearing a scream mask. Our Morale Agents, based in the U.S., told us that this was because the lucky winner did not want his family or friends to start asking him for money. The bizarre photoshoot, however, did not hide the surname and initial of

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Local Councils REJOICE As Melting Roads Repair Potholes

Local council leaders have been rejoicing as the unprecedented hot weather – that occurs every summer – has meant that the billions of potholes dotted around the country have started to disappear finally. Owing to the scorching temperatures, the roads have been melting, and thus potholes which have been around since the ice age have started to disappear. Our undercover

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Police Officer Endures Morale Failure After Being Forced To Deflate A ‘Donut Floaty’

Our American Morale Embassay has made us aware of an incident that occurred, which has resulted in a police officer suffering from a morale failure after being forced to deflate a ‘donut floaty’. In a post shared on the Waukesha County Sheriff’s Department Facebook page, a spokesperson said: ‘Deputy McDonald consoles Deputy Kristalidis after he had to deflate a donut

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