Study Reveals That 99% Of People Who Refer To The Police As ‘Pigs’, Failed The Police Entrance Exam

The Ministry of Morale can reveal that 99% of the individuals who call the police ‘pigs’ have, in fact, failed the police entry exam. This would explain why such individuals compare police officers to animals that have to put up with being surrounded by so much s**t every day. The study was started after one of our undercover morale officers

Read more

Police Officers Refusing To Do Their Level Two Public Order Training To Safeguard Their Morale

The Ministry of Morale has been made aware of the fact that some police officers are refusing to do their level two public order training, as, once completed, the training adversely affects their (already depleted) morale. We are hearing unconfirmed yet credible reports that the number of cancelled rest days for level two officers is now getting beyond a joke,

Read more

New Poll Reveals That Most Civvy Men Fantasise About Being In The Infantry

According to the results of a new morale poll, commissioned by the Ministry of Morale, the majority of civilian males spend most of their time fantasising about sleeping with their sister-in-law AND being an infantryman. Out of the 1,000 civilian males who responded to our survey – having been promised a pint of beer if they did – 91% confirmed

Read more

‘We Need People Who Want To F__k Other People Up’ New Army Recruitment Campaign Announced

The Ministry of Morale will be rolling out a new no-nonsense recruitment campaign that will aim to recruit some of the country’s hardest men and women into the armed forces. In the past, our recruitment campaigns have asked for ‘snowflakes’ and people who play Call of Duty 23 hours a day, to sign up. But we quickly realised that this

Read more

Military Wives To Automatically Get The Same Rank As Their Husbands

The Ministry of Morale is pleased to announce that as from an as yet unknown date, military wives will now automatically have the same rank as their husbands. This decision follows a long-term consultation during which military wives were asked about what they find most annoying about their husbands being in the military. While their husbands being away for extended

Read more

Citizen Experiences Morale Failure After Finding A Mouse In Her ‘Chicken ‘n’ Chips’

The Ministry of Morale (that’s us) has been alerted to a morale failure that occurred after a woman purchased some nutritious chicken and chips from a fast food outlet, only to find that the ‘chicken’ was, in fact, a mouse. The incident occurred at around 02:00 hours this morning after the diner had enjoyed a night out drinking copious amounts

Read more

Massive Morale Failure Detected As Citizens Realise That ‘Monster Munch’ Isn’t A Footprint

For centuries now, citizens have thought that Monster Munch crisps are supposed to resemble the footprints of ‘monsters’. However, new information has emerged that has caused a national failure in the morale of citizens who love munching on these monster crisps. According to a Top Secret report that has been leaked to the Ministry of Morale, the crisps are supposed

Read more
« Older Entries